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    dots Submission Name: TO PONDERdots

    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 501
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 508

       in my life have had so lil i worried how to feed myself and there were times i had so much i worried how to feed the world this is about that really about being from both sides of the tracks

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTO PONDERdots

    For love or money?
    Maybe the love of money?
    Simple warfare really.
    God vs. man, man vs. woman.
    I am never all together sure.
    Some where in between warm Champaign and stale beer my heart lies dormant.
    Surrounded by broken glass and iron fencing.
    Choices of the mind are like choices of the heart .
    Though more revolting.
    In the end its only the dead and dying that speak true.
    Everything else is just a sweet distraction .

    Submitted on 2005-08-01 20:42:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Uhmm... this poem kinda jumps around, I think... it's not very clear. 'Altogether' is one word, and 'champaigne' is spelled like that. I hope you don't think I'm being mean, just trying to help you out.
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by black_beauty18 | [ Reply to This ]
      i think its a little akward i just couldnt get into it, maybe its just cus i'm tired.. possibly i'll have to check it again later and possibly revamp my post.. good luck w/ ur writing.. keep on keepin on
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by sacred_tears | [ Reply to This ]
      I got what you were saying! but try to put more order to your work. You have to find that middle ground, to where it's not too orderly and predictable, but also not too confusing or too sloppy.
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]

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