Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Outspoken But Not Hearddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: solemnpen
    ASL Info:    18
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 303/339/42
    Words: 220
    Class/Type: Poetry/Political
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1514



    Description:
       this is just the way i describe modern life in the U.S. People in government need to quit focusing on what goes on across the oceans and turn their heads around and look in their backyard. But as stated below nobody will understand till they have to experience it personally, they wont understand


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOutspoken But Not Hearddots
    -------------------------------------------


    WAR!

    bush delcared victory
    the refugees are free
    but yet everyday
    young kids are being
    gunned down in the streets

    the government states
    that we are making progress
    but crime and drugs
    are increasing in
    all 50 states

    What is progress?
    more bullets sold
    young teenagers lives
    cashed in for "black gold"
    just another obituary to be told

    in the words of tupac
    "I'm old enough to go to war
    but I aint old enough to drink"
    bout the only thing still legal
    is the ability to think

    soldiers for the ghetto
    soldiers for the night
    writing for the unspoken
    a tribute to all the heartbroken
    I WILL NEVER BE SOFTSPOKEN

    on my knees
    praying in the streetlight
    wondering why at 15
    daniel had to die
    3 more years, and uncle sam
    might have my life

    so many ways to be said
    not enough chances to break bread
    What's progress in a society
    thats ran with a controlling mind
    but people didnt wake up
    till the terroists showed us the sign

    open the blinded eye
    see what needs to be seen
    I'm trying to tell you
    without being obscene
    but i guess you wont notice
    till you experince, first hand,
    the reality of a homicide crime scene




    Submitted on 2005-08-01 21:51:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      powerful. a lot of people really havn't experienced the pain you talk about. but they can try and understand from your poem. i like the rhymes and puns. you have decent poem lines.
    i live in Canada. i'm sorry. that was probably an inappropiate comment.
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by denial | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. i like the rhymes and flow, and i cannot relate to that amount of pain. the message really got through, and it's understandable. it was a really nice write.
    good write.
    *Melissa
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by frozenconscienc | [ Reply to This ]
      First let me say - Very strong...very to the point - I could go on and on about the political stirrings you started, but I would be here all night. You touch on the world today and express your view of it well.
    "What's progress in a society
    thats ran with a controlling mind
    but people didnt wake up
    till the terroists showed us the sign"
    Nice
    BTW - I knew who Tupac was - loved his lyrics
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      A strong and powerful piece you really have poked at the Bush administration with this one. I cant really say I know what's going in America as I live in Jamaica but things here are not that great either so on that premise I can relate. Really powerful, so quick to try and solve problems affecting others they forget the problems in their own backyard. So true even here in Jamaica.
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      in the words of tupac
    "I'm old enough to go to war
    but I aint old enough to drink"
    bout the only thing still legal
    is the ability to think

    good [censored] cade. i think these lines showed how restricted society is becoming do 2 the "tyranny" of GWBush. this [censored] was good and it made me think. thinking is only fun when u wanna do it. which means it's never fun at school
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      aww!sweetie..this was great! it really powerful and fun to read. well not "fun" like it was intreaging. i liked how it was put together! nice job!

    -Suicidalchild51-
    ps (((idk why i called you sweetie...i guess it kinda flew into my mood and just sounded right!lol!)))
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was really good cade. it was so good, i almost forgave you for being such a [censored]. i know why suicidal called you swetie. its cuz you put up a picture of some other really attractive male person. damn you, CADE!
    | Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      kids dying everyday in these black light streets/
    kid's with families and minds,
    kids like you and me/
    what's the point of livin when you're meant to die
    at 18, that's not a life
    its an alibi/
    its a moment of silence followed by an indefinate noise/
    this world's just out the separate me n my boys/
    2 years for me,
    with my luck the draft starts on my birthday like my premature death was destiny/
    i stand as a fire that burns in the wild/
    the shepard's son that walks for miles/
    just to watch the stars explode like beaming dreams in midnight Iraq dog fight trials/
    ~the mastered mind of the Aknahlij*d 1
    | Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    68943

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry