1. there is a kind of sadness and unrest inside which seems rather pointless and stupid, but it springs forth because of endless questions and frustration and thought regarding ones existence. it thus seeks to destroy itself in its quest to know what its existence means.
2.and so if you look inside these yes, you will see death,nothingness. and this will have to be enough, as the only sign the body,the spirit will show on the outside of the sacrifice that has been made, which is the giving up of one's very essence,what one is truly made of inside.
3.one forsakes what is truly us,what we were meant to be (what god meant us to be),a nd instead passively accept what we get in life, have desires and have them fulfilled, but most of these things lead us to nowhere.
4. on looking behind one sees his shadow. but this soul this body is made of nothing solid as it has no true essence left, it only pretends to have form. so how can it cast a shadow?
5. and so the unrets inside is calmed and pacified because it sees the shadow and believes that it has no expresions of grief, no sadness.but this belief is like a thief, this very shadow is like a thief stealing the truth.
6. then one sanctifies and this lie. and lives life believing in this false belief, as a kind of defence mechanism maybe,or merely to provide a reason that one can live with, a reason for the silence.
It's simple and straightforward and conveys a specific feeling, I like that. I like the rhyming scheme, and I felt I could relate to it, however without reading your notes it's not completely clear what you're trying to say. just thought you might like the think about that, keep it up Regards, Kalinda
May I make a suggestion? :-) don't tell people anything about the poem, let them read it then draw there conclusions, that way you can see if it is hard or easy for the person to grasp. You cause them to use there brains.