[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Stars Will Fall For All Timesdots

    Author: ladyngold
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 585/520/99
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 1367
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 607


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStars Will Fall For All Timesdots

    Alas, I can hear the music,
    again so clearly.
    It sings of a future
    with many rainbow treasures.

    Like a falling star,
    this song so beautiful
    one day faded to an end.
    As did my unanswered favors.

    Alas, I can hear the music,
    and was spared a dreadful life
    void of music, love, and poetry.
    I should write lyrics to this melody.

    Visibly I see treasured dreams flash
    fulfilled before my once deaden eyes,
    many wishes and dreams coming true.
    Recognizing, stars will fall for all times.

    Submitted on 2005-08-02 04:11:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A building progression here, thoughts surging into realization and a truce-like acceptance. Thing that seem to go, mournfully, unnoticed but do change the world if only a nudge at a time.

    This one got me thinking and I like that in a piece. I also like how the lines stretch as the poem moves on, like a little more is realized the further you delve into the thought, like a little glimpse of how another's perceptions grow in size and volosity.

    This is especially effective to me because that kind of streching in most people's work tends to give it more strain then it ads to effectiveness. You maintained great poise in executing these lines.

    I enjoyed this a great deal.

    Jason The [censored]
    | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by Jason The Basta | [ Reply to This ]
      This is Beautiful
    To me it speaks of a reawakening with the Lord
    Its simply Beautiful
    A Great write

    Please if you get a chance please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know how Munchie got the impression this was dark - whatever he's taking, can I get some? ;-)

    Love this poem, Cheryl. Excellent job with wording and flow. The title really drew me in and I'm glad I read it. Only one minor mistake I noted: 'Like a falling stars' shouldn't have the 'a' with the plural subject.



    | Posted on 2005-09-19 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]

    psst...I still enjoy reading this

    The computer says that comment is too short and there is always something more to add...so I added this sentence...but am gonna have to stick with my original assessment:

    psss...I still enjoy reading this

    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, Cheryl, this was quite different from you, but not out of the ordinary. I liked it. Definately a fave maynard. The third stanza was great...heck the whole thing was man. Thanks for writing it. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I really thought you did well on this and your muse tells you to relax that all is truly always well because you are a woman who can write and appreciate.
    This was beautiful and the stars will fall for you for all times!
    Great job girl!
    Love,Peace,Joy! tif ; } keep that chin up girl!
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this Cheryl. I wish you would write more poetry, though I do enjoy your Haiku, I feel your poetry speaks so much more of the real you. It appears as though you've had some hard times, according to this poem, but the future holds brighter moments for you.
    Good goin. Please do write more poems, you do it so well.
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a lovely and uplifting read Cheryl. It's nice to be able to see the "rainbow treasures" of life, without all the fog of doubt hanging over us isn't it?
    Glad to see you heading in a "happy" direction..and glad to see the stars falling for you.
    An enjoyable read,
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Cheryl,
    This piece is breathtaking...I like how you emphasized on music. Everyone should look up to the heavens at on a clear night. The stars sing and dance with their twinkles. Your stars is writing. You showed passion in this piece. Just like the stars are real, your dreams can become real. Don't give up on what you so desire. You alone know what that desire is. Iwish you the best in making your dream come alive. Your "Star" will shine for you...take care, wanda
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
      Cheryl, how intraspective of you, and cryptic to boot!

    A very enigmatic write, I still ponder on the use of "alas" which is a strange contradiction.

    This could mean a lot of things, and I'm so glad you wrote such an interesting little poem. And you write it extremely well, too.

    Very very good!

    Be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hello Miss Cheryl,

    Long time no hear huh? SORRY! Just been busy!

    This was very dark for you. Yet, in another way I felt a sense of hope crying out through it. You gave it a characteristic as though...this is the moment...yet another moment is yet to come...for the stars fall at all times.

    Maybe I am just going to deep? I am an over dramatic person ya know?

    Great write.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]