Forgotten Candle by lmz

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Submission Name: Forgotten Candle dots

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Author:	lmz
ASL Info:	37/female/USA
Elite Ratio:	8 - 3416/1524/84
Words:	44

Class/Type:	Poetry/Passion
Total Views:	367
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	417

Description:

Forgotten Candle dots

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A scented candle
When first lit
Burns strong
Emits gentle warmth
With flickering flame
Produces intimate light
Melting wax
Creates sweet fragrance
Dripping down, pooling
Slowly surrounds the wick
Dimming intensity
Lessening aroma
If left unattended
Begins to suffocate
Flame extinguishes
Darkness remains

Submitted on 2005-08-02 09:44:57 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Ooooh, am I smelling a metaphor for a relationship that dies without attention??

There isn't a whole lot I can say about this one; you've picked a good, solid metaphor and executed it well. The more I read your poetry, the more I realize the genius you have for finding these metaphorical images

Steve
| Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
  Finally a subject I can relate too, candles and I go back to my childhood. I remember making them, and hanging over wires to dry(COOL)
My grandma had a huge pot just for wax and candle making. We even made tallow candles from the left over animal suet. I'm part Amish not old and dumb.
Anyway, a soft lit table and a few mixed emotion potions and that thing can go dim anytime it wants to. A sweet aroma might help the mood but I'll rely on the potions for most of my luck. Well potions and sweet talk might be more of the truth!
Yup, them thar candles is a bit like love, if-in ya don't do some trimming, the old flame will die out and that waxing feeling will kill the mood for sure!
Say, I guess I'm late at looking around your page so my comment will just need to be as good as those others.
You know I love your writing, I'm spell bound and addicted to your needing to smile in the mornings!
I'm on the job here, I just hope its good enough.
LATER LMmmmm Z
| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
  Hi Lorna.

A candle can represent many things, depending on it's setting i.e a church, a bathrom, a bedroom etc. This means it can have differing meanings and interpretations put on it, as is evident in the range os interpretations that you have received.

For me, the poem represents fragility in so much that the candle will go out one day no matter what and the message has to be, whilst the candle is burning, enjoy the light, the heat and the fact that it is burning at all.

This approach, covers all of the possible meanings attached to the candle. A very beautiful and meaningful write.
| Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
  This ain't about candles! This is love, a relationship, or sex. It burns all warm and toasty at first, brings light into our lives, smells great, even inspires, to write or to view the future differently, but as the wax (fuel) runs out or it loses air (freedom), the suffocation begins, the flame (of love) dies, sex grows cold, the relationship ends.

A beautiful metaphor. What you've added for originality, is the idea that it's a scented candle, not the age old fire / love thing. Maybe a little more on the scent would add to this, such as the sweet smell of love, the fragrances we use, the smell of roses, the scent of a lover, the passionate sweaty smell of sex, and the acrid sooty smell of the dying flame.
Well, I loved it, as is. Those were just suggestions. Today, the popularity of scented candles (i aroma therapy) makes this metaphor very apropos. You have re-lit the flame, and we warm its glow. A nice though brief (like a candle) scent-a-mental burning of loves wicks and wax, the heat of passion followed by meltdown and ashes. Loved it!

Phil
| Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
  Sounds like it could be literally a scented candle but also a very intimate relationship- or sex itself.
It starts out so lovingly descriptive, then warning of suffocation, that was unexpected.
Flame extingishes
Darkness remains
...sigh...
I wonder if you were watching a candle burn as you wrote this...connecting it to your personal experience. I could imagine that you did as I read it.
| Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by fo | [ Reply to This ]
  Dear, you never fail to impress me. I had to scroll down for like 5 minutes to comment because so many people already have. And I see why. Its great in every way. The descriptions, the wording, and the emotions all come together perfectly. The title is awesome too. Thats what made me interested to read it, and Im glad I did. Very beautifully done. As yours always are, Great Job

-nikkki
| Posted on 2005-11-20 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  Lorna, in reading this poem, I could feel the yearning to be nurtured, the candle, metaphorically, being kindled love.
Your explanation of how sweet and bright life of any relationship can be in the beginning, can remain so, if it has just a little attention.
When left alone, unattended, a wonderful relationship changes and will eventually sufficate.
I really liked your last line, it summed it all up for me in just a few words. Before the beginning of a relationship, there is darkness, and if the candle is allowed to smother, then what meaning to the self did this candle have? The answer would be none, and therefore, if nothing, it is just correct that darness would remain.
Thank you for sharing this poem with me. I am pleased that you continued to write.
God bless,
Yvonne
| Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by dycrain | [ Reply to This ]
  It's true that the things we care for thrive. And i see this as a tale of our not doing so. How could we care for a love unless we cherish it and give our attention?

Just like a garden that is allowed to grow without care will die,
a candle will lose its flame. thanks for sharing.

Nan
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoy and appreciate pieces that through wonderful verbiage communicate a thoughtful message in a minimalistic way.

Fire, flame and candles are wonderful vehicles to express relationships! Great girl!
Love,Peace,Joy! tif
| Posted on 2005-11-09 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey Lorna,

Really enjoyed this one. Its been awhile though.

Correct me if i'm wrong but i think i have a meaning to this. It seems like it is kind of about a relationship, or some aspect of a persons life. The reason it leads me to think it is about a relationship is becusae of the last line. Usually at the end of a relationship someone is left off in the dark. But on the other hand in the beginning they are both strong and so much togheter. Or maybe it just was about a candle. I don't know. But i really like the metaphor. great job and i shall be reading more of your works today becuase i need to do some cathing up to say the least.

Mikki
x3
| Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
  The comments have many suggestions of different metaphors while I just enjoyed watching the life of a simple candle, the light, the scent, the wax, etc. Maybe sometimes we spend too much time looking for special meaning in things when a simple enjoyment is a good place to start.

The comments you've drawn are almost as good as the work itself. Nice for being short, which is what I've been able to do lately if at all. Good selection of your animated candle picture also, it always sets the mood to see something if it fits. Thanks!
| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
  ... I have never read a prose in my life to begin with... and I am glad yours was the first one I read... Its basically the meaning of life... you start so shining and whole and over time you start to deteriorate and you are not so whole losing more and more innocense over time... at least thats what I think about it... beacuse in the beggining of life you see the cheerfulness of a child which is shown by the flame and then as you get older the flame starts extinguishing... anyways good write and I liked it... Keep writting...

Jose J. Ortiz aka Josyman
| Posted on 2005-09-26 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
  I would like to take it further on what Traveler was saying. This I find to be heavily symbolic into human nature. You meet someone new, and they set your wick aflame, and it burns true in its prime. You look and feel so at ease and peaceful...you never want to stop burning. Then suddenly, attention is forfeited, and you begin to shrink. Time travels quicker..and then you're with nothing but a small helping of evidence that proved you ever existed. And even then, you're either put in a drawer, or pitched.

Its so sad, because I think we all throw away perfectly good candles from time to time.
We know how to light eachother's fire, just not how to feed the flames.
(hey shoes! that was pretty good!)

-ishoes
| Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by iShoes | [ Reply to This ]
  I'd almost say this poem is about a PENUS but that must be because I'm over sexed or something.

I'm afraid I've already commented on this poem somewhere else. It's a nice poem with a nice ending, I love the way you compose.

Licks

Lib
| Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by Lostinbeer | [ Reply to This ]
  I loved the metaphoric messeges I read into this. It inspired several thoughts. Life, relationships, and love were a few of them. Then I thought about the light and that we should not only enjoy the light while it burns, but also strive to find other sources to continue that light when the candle burns low. The last thought I had was perhaps the write could be taken simply as observations of a candle burning away and stop spending all my time watching the candle and enjoy what its light revealed to me. There were so many thoughts that this poem invoked. I enjoyed this a great deal. Thank you. Smiles.
| Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by Traveller | [ Reply to This ]
  I was expecting something like 'Forgot the stupid candle & now I can't thing a #^&#*& thing!' ;-)

SERIUOSLY, THIS IS NICE, THOUGH I THINK YOU COULD STRENGTHEN IT A LOT WITH SOME CHANGES. FEEL FREE TO TAKE OR LEAVE MY SUGGESTIONS (AS ALWAYS).

A scented candle
When first lit
Burns strong
Gives gentle warmth – I WOULD USE ‘GIVES’ RATHER THAN ‘EMITS’; THAT SOUNDS SO CLINICAL
flickering flame
Produces intimate light – NICE LINE
And melting wax
Creating sweet fragrance
Dripping down, pooling - ANOTHER GOOD LINE
Slowly surroundING the wick
Dimming intensity – DELETE ‘THE’
FADing aroma – WHAT AROMA? MAYBE ‘ROSES’ OR ‘HIBISCUS’ INSTEAD OF ‘AROMA’ GIVE US SOMETHING HERE. AND DELETE ‘THE’
Remains unattended
SuffocatION – SAYING SOMETHING WITH 1 WORD IS ALWAYS STRONGER
Flame extinguished
Darkness remains
| Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
  :) Imz, I must say you have created a beautiful prose here that is complete and meaningful. Its as though it could be a lovely works encompussing many different things related to life if word choices were rearranged which makes it a Great Piece. More importantly is the author of this creation deciding to share their works with the world and their readers thus feeding a hunger for excellent poetry. Thank You for giving us just a little of yourself and blessing us with beautiful words of poetry. Great Job. Please keep your pens ink flowing across sheets of paper as we your readers eagerly await your next poetic caper. Your Friend, MickPigKnuckles :)
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by MickPigKnuckles | [ Reply to This ]
  I really liked this style you wrote.
It reminds me on the surface of birth and death in a way. The candle first lit is the birth process. As it burns, fragrance created, wax dripping, is the aging process. When there is no longer wax etc., darkness is there, that's the death. I don't know if that makes any sense to you. This was a good write. you take care...wanda
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
  This was a relationship to a "T" for me! The excitement at first and then the comfortability and ultimately with no nurturing the demise. Don't know if you were going for anything hidden in this, but that is what I took from it.
Either way, candles are amazing and are a frequent guest in your writings-I love that! This was a great write and brought a lot to mind. Thanks a bunch for sharing!
Candi
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
  Hello Lorna ,

Yes this does tell the story of the candle but also the story of life , it starts strong and bright and ends in darkness , great descriptive piece ,
take care
Elaine x
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by lainie75 | [ Reply to This ]
  it's a very clear poem..i mean, it's talking about a candle and when you lit it something happens. some poem talk about a whole bunch of differnt things in their poem which makes it so very confusing. yours is very well explained and smooth.

'With flickering flame" this line we know that candles that are lit produces flickering flame...but when you mentioned it, that's when i just realized that it realy does.
it's like knowing something again for the first time.

this is a very unique poem...but why candle? why not an apple right?
maybe i could write something about a poem.
lol

-fearless
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Fearless | [ Reply to This ]
  Hi Lorna, I think you did another good job here. I got the feeling reading this poem that every good thing comes to a end, life, love, beauty...anything you appreciate could lose it's strenght and just be a memeory to the senses. You used great imagery. And I loved your flow. Great Job! I see another fav here.
Maggie
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  A very interesting metaphor indeed. I read this to be about love. Love, when first lit will give off a very strong flame, it melt walls and boundries, and emits a kind of scent known only to the lovers. But, if left unattended (without care and support from both persons), will eventually sputter out and die. I like the way you have captured the idea that love, like a scented candle, need to be cared for and wacthed over to keep it strong. At least that is what I got from this piece.

Isn't it great that a writer can pen a few lines and have many different people come up with many different ideas about the messages behind those words? It's one the things I like so much about poetry!
Keep writing!
Take Care,
-Chell-
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
  the candle can be innocence/goodness or love it denotes something that isnt limitless/eternal but has mortality with it's end the being darkness. the first lighting is the passion one has the initial spark of love and the manifestation thereof. the flickering flame could be the dangers around but that may be reaching. from here on is the downward spiral "Creating sweet fragrance Dripping down, pooling Slowly surrounds the wick
Dimming the intensity" till the flame burns out. wonderful metaphors. dont know how accurate i was but i jumped in for ya. :) mike :)
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  Love, aging, it's all like a candle... this can be applied so many ways, because the symbolism of the candle and dying flame is so brilliantly versatile, if you think about it long enough you can make it mean almost anything. They say poetry isn't about people "getting it" as much as it is about "getting something", and this has a lot to get in it. All poetry should be this good!
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
  I get the metaphor, and this was quite unique, but it felt halted because of the short phrases. Maybe that's your style, I wouldn't know... but it would have been more beautiful (in my opinion) if it had more flow.

However, like I said before, it was unique and an enjoyment to read. :)

Jen
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by poetofthenight | [ Reply to This ]
  Darkness remains after everything. After a relationship, after change, after moving. Something is always in the dark.

Sometimes, you just need to start over, sometimes you can just get more wax and a longer wick.

I thought this poem's structure was great. All the syllables kinda matched up and it was easy to read.

You also told the tale lovelym and I have no harsh words against this:O)

Kudos.

-Kayla
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
  awesome write. the description of the candle and the extended metaphor (for life, love, or something else?) all carry through. I wish I had your ability to do that. My metaphors usually seem so mundane. In any event, this is an extremely original piece; as I was reading this (and initially connecting the metaphor to life) I thought about "burning the candle at both ends;" that's where I thought you may have chosen the candle. Realizing that the candle could also be love or one of a dozen other things, I think maybe you didn't get the idea from the cliché at all. . . kind of rambled there huh? As always, great job. Think this one's gonna be a fav.
J
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
  This speaks of a couple of things to me. Of course the life of a candle left unattended, melting away into darkness...

but I can also relate it to people and how our own light goes out when left alone and unattended.

I think you did a great job on this.

Take care!
~Sandra
| Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]

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