wow a very good write i got the feeling that you were trying to get a message out to parents to keep an eye on there kids or a message to your fellow teenagers to wake up and stop the violence and hating before things get way too deep its refreshing reading something so deep from a young mind like yours best of luck in school this year take it seriously becayse you definately have a future in writing or journalism by the way i read your rap which was very well written to the one you said you were drinking a little take care of yourself theres plenty of time later in life to party dont waste the god given talent you have
This is an important piece for people to read and embrace. So many people wait until it is way to late to open their eyes! I hope that some people heed your warnings you've been putting out there. I can't even begin to pretend to relate-i've told you that a million times already...but you put a lot into what you have to say! Thanks for posting another great write! Candi
People should awake from from the complacency that we all some times slip into. If we all just paid a little more attention attention than some of the events in life would never come to surface and we would all feel a little less haert ache. valid subject and valid read. thanks alot. bye ash
wake up huh? good choice of words. some people think that life is nothing but a dream, or in some cases a nightmare. it's not good 2 live that way cuz u go through life slepping and u don't see all the truths of the world that we live in. good write cade. troy
waking people up, yeah that's got substance. quick grammatical errors, 5th stanza last line should be themselves, not theirselves, when you are describing people doing something as a group it is themselves. also the last line you woulda wished you believed me is kinda oddly worded, i think there is a better way to arrange that sentence, but it has got to sound right to you, but try tweaking it a little.
Thank you for the wake up call. I dont understand what this poem is about but i do get the meaning. If you understand what i mean. It is a good play on words and it has its own beat. I like this poerm.good write.
Fool, it's a qurter after 2 and you are a sleep! Wake UP! nah, just playin'-you have made some valid points in this peace. But as a couple others mentioned there are numerous grammical errors and they drawaway from the write. Fix dat [censored] boy..