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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: too muchdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: solemnpen
    ASL Info:    18
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 303/339/42
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 712
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 567



    Description:
       THIS IS VERY OBSCENE, AND VERY DESCRIPTIVE, IF YOU DONT LIKE SEXUALLY DESCRIPTIVE PIECES, DONT READ

    INSPIRRED BY DYLANPOES FRIEND CHASE BECAUSE HE WORKS OFFSHORE AND COME HOME AND THIS IS HIS GIRL


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstoo muchdots
    -------------------------------------------


    my body sweats and im tired
    i can never compare to
    her sex drive and her fire
    six times in one day
    im so tired
    i dont know what to say
    dicks sore, pussies wet
    im gonna get drunk
    that i can bet
    leaning like a breaking tower
    done licked it so much
    its starting to taste sour
    man can only fuck so much
    you burning hot
    to hot to touch
    never thought i could hate fucking so bad
    but im going back to work
    and my dick is gonna end up
    so sad




    Submitted on 2005-08-02 12:37:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      lol...this is ummmmmm...interesting I suppose. Didn't realize a guy could get sick of getting laid! Better watch that whiskey dick though! :)
    More than anything, this was definately entertaining to me! That girl has some damn serious drive too by the way! Good write! Hope to hear something from you again soon!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      "man can only [censored] so much
    you burning hot
    to hot to touch"

    That part didnt seem to fit in too well ...then again I am really tired and I just may need to read this again when I'm more awake.
    other then that I thought this was a pretty good write...perhaps it could use just a lil more background ...like when it talks about him getting drunk? is he drunk in the literal sense or is he "pussy drunk"?

    T
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      HA! HA! yeah, I know the feeling, sometimes a person plays too hard on their time off that they have to go back to work to recuperate. I think this was pretty right on, sometimes those nymphos can wear a guy down, ya know? Good write. Like a sore di*k, ya cant beat it. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      damn cade. at least u warned me before i read it. 6 times in one day. what did he mean bout getting drunk? damn son...i got nothing else 2 say.
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      in a way i do like this poem. It has character and so diffrent from anything that i have ever read.
    You are so brave to write about something like this, in a way i am proud, even tho i do not know you.

    Well done and keep it up! lol
    (i couldn't resist) Bailey
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Bailey19 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. descriptive like a sum [censored]. i think that you had the right to bust one of these out. one can only [censored] so mcuh right? lol, u crazy.~P
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a most descriptive way of explaining to man - "It wont stay up forever"...or...better practice your foreplay skills if you are going to be at it with a nympho...
    "i can never compare to
    her sex drive and her fire
    six times in one day
    im so tired
    i dont know what to say"
    I think that say it all
    very cute
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...huh...this is...uhm...very interesting. Quite provocative this kind of reminds me of a song a local artist sang it goes like this:

    "baby you really stop already
    you mean to tell me say
    you really stop already
    the steamfish in your back done already
    how you tell me say you ready
    you no ready"

    This is Jamaican dancehall music. I guess he bit off more than he could chew. [no pun intended]
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      6 times in one day? So what's the problem? lol
    Yeah, I suppose things would get sore before they just went numb, and having sex while numb is just a waste of time.
    I have no idea why, but I liked this. It was honest, a tad crude (but in a good way) and kinda funny. poor guy!
    Traci :)
    ps is that you in the pic?
    | Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      LOL! I can relate! (from a female point of view) Sometimes you get wit that one person who just cant get enough. It gets to the point where you dont even want to see the oppposite sex. You deffinitely got your point across, and its funny as hell.
    TAke Care- keep doing ya thang cuz you doing it well,
    JADE
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by JADE | [ Reply to This ]
      Hahahaha!I dont know why I decided to read this one but I did and I am so friggin glad! This is great stuff! I got a smile from ear to ear and I gotta thank you for that! Man thats gotta hurt! That really sucks and at that point "hurts so good" is no longer a true statementThis poem is too f*cking funny! And from a woman perspective, I think after 6 times, it aint wet no more either! Oh this is too funny!Great stuff indeed! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


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