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    dots Submission Name: In The End........dots

    Author: poppa jon
    ASL Info:    44 /m /N.E.
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 34/46/8
    Words: 230
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 911
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1584

       I wrote this just now although i started it in june of 2000 when i was diagnosed with cancer.
    ( 30 % Chance of survival!)
    I'm still running, But in the end...........
    Any way like it or don't corrections ??? Flow ???
    It's hard cause i only see a couple stanzas at a time.Thank you all for your interest and help SINCERELY POPPA JON!!!!:)

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn The End........dots

    In the end,
    The lesson learned,
    The body borrowed,
    Must be returned !

    Face this true reality.
    Eventualy we must.
    The body we have borrowed,
    Shall be returned to dust.

    Some will travel longer,
    On this plane of flesh and bone.
    Others pass so swiftly,
    They are barely known.

    Years Start out so slowly,
    Going faster as we grow.
    So many things to learn and do,
    So much we'll never know.

    Preparations for eternity,
    Are left for other times.
    Dare not think mortality,
    That would be sublime.

    Just beyond our sight,
    In a place we do not see.
    The Reaper standing waiting!
    A fate we cannot flee.

    While there is still a chance,
    To shape the life you lead.
    Give freely of your love and hope,
    Do not succomb to greed.

    We know not what lies beyond,
    The next corner of this place,
    Be prepared at anytime,
    To see your makers face.

    Things to be remembered,
    Those left, yet, undone.
    The final fate awaiting,
    We simply can't outrun !

    Heed these words quite closely !
    For the lesson we have learned.
    Bodies we have borrowed,
    Shall Have to be Returned !

    Submitted on 2005-08-02 14:37:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      very nice thought i like putting myself in the writers thought and also the characters or topic peope write about well done
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, and how the first line is also the last. It's more powerful that way. I just don't like "linger longer"...it stopped me for a second and I thought "...maybe another word instead of "linger"?Sometimes I wasn't sure about the flow, but I caught on-"Simply can not be outrun"..maybe you could shorten it a syllable? I think it would flow better...
    Nice work.
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by frozenconscienc | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a good topic to write about. most people dont want to or find it hard to face death because they are afraid and dont want to die. its good that u are prepared for that. this was great as poem. flow was nice i didnt see anything that took away its flow. anyways nice job!

    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      You gave great advise. I took it all to heart. And your flow was great. You did a great job with this. Keep running.
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is good, but i'm sure you know this is also the title of a doors song, i would just suggest a more original title to distinguish your words from those of the doors.
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]

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