Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To Hell and Backdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BloodBaptism
    ASL Info:    18/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    2.8 - 17/18/4
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1004
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 677



    Description:
       a tribute to my brothers and sisters who have fought in Operation Iraqi Freedom and have come home safe... soon it will be my turn and i hope i have the same fate....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo Hell and Backdots
    -------------------------------------------


    night and day it sinks in more
    a short time left and its off to war
    to fight beside my brothers in arms
    i proudly stand with them arm to arm
    it seems as though our fates are sealed
    less and less the wounds are healed
    bullets are shot to end our lives
    wounds are deepened by sharpened knives
    but at last an opening to an end
    Angel's protection the Good Lord sends
    three long years we've fought and died
    some are left where they lie
    the war is won and we are free
    to go on home to our families
    a memory in my mind will stay
    of when we fought for that September day




    Submitted on 2005-08-02 15:21:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It is an alright piece. I stumbled over to fight beside my brothers in arms
    i proudly stand with them arm to arm,
    because of the double arms. I didn't know the war was over though. People are still dying over there, my cousin Jay isn't home yet. Al qaeda hasn't been destroyed, and we haven't discovered yet that we are fighting terrorism in vain as people will never stop rebelling against the good, and terror will never be stopped completely. I wish you the best of luck in your future years and hope things come out good for you in hte end. Peace and love. -rue
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Rue | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you did a fine job with your writing. Your flow was good. I like the emotion that this poem evoke in the reader. This was good.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I mainly liked the eye opening aspects of this poem, it's nice to dedicate something to the troops, i didn't see it as rebellious, it was very realistic not all negative not all positive.
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this alot but don't forget the SISTERS ha ha j/k i like this like i said and i think u should keep writing. its a good way to vent and celebrate! keep up the awesome work!
    love
    tina
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    69044

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry