Description: Just done in the last few minutes, hope you enjoy....
Image is 9/10ths of the Law -------------------------------------------
Uniforms and fuzzy guitars
Infesting low lit bars
Insects need order
Moths to the flame
Buzzing till burnout
Leaves us silent and tamed
Eager eyes roam
Drink in soft skin
Supple bodies sweat
In this Fascist din
Image is everything
Say the pretty things out there
But their not meant for me
Sleepwalking selfish meat
Prowling the empty streets
Will always crave more
Till exhausted
My body hits the floor
NICE! Now I notice a distinct style of the way you word your poetry. I like your technique and I might just study it for my own craft enhancement. Wow, you're talented. Keep it up!
Your enterpretation of 'Image' is painstakingly real. You added that delicious touch that I so love..lol. This is a great piece, and it's real, with a fantasy type feel to it. Keep it up, you just keep getting better...go figure ;) I can't wait to read more from you!
Interesting. I like the way you've written it. It's...different somehow. Its so deep and you've obviously thought about it plenty, even if you only wrote it recently. I like it, it reminds me so much of my school where everything is judged by image and I hate that. It really scrapes my nerves because their image just doesn't click with mine.
I love this! I also really like the references to insects it creates some really interesting images especially "moth the the flame". I love the line "Sleepingwalking selfish meat". You couldn't have described it in a better way. Very interesting poem, with a slightly bitter tone. The last line also ends the poem perfectly "My body hits the floor".
Since the title is "Image is 9/10ths of the Law", as I read "image is everything", I thought it might've been better as "almost everything". But then it might alter the rest of the poem. That was basically the only flaw I noticed, the rest I really liked. :)
Submission Name: Image is 9/10ths of the Law
