Pretty Girl (Part #2) by lethargic

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Submission Name: Pretty Girl (Part #2) dots

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Author:	lethargic_me
ASL Info:	15,chick
Elite Ratio:	3.15 - 74/87/22
Words:	83

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	254
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	525

Description:
My second installment to Pretty Girl, this is how she begins her day each morning. Crying her eyes out and then bottling it all up when her mother says its time for school.

Pretty Girl (Part #2) dots

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So much beauty, so much pain.

Pretty Girl, feels even more dead each passing day.

She looks in the mirror, what a flawless face.

Then she looks into her soul, so many scars, noone can erase.

Pretty Girl cries, and with each tear a piece of her dies.

There's a knock on the door, her mother says "it's time."

So Pretty Girl wipes her eyes, she puts on her smile.

Her sweet smile, she's so divine.

Submitted on 2005-08-02 17:32:59 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Sounds like it's about a girl with problems but she covers them up and hides them, i think teen age girls could relate to this, this could be for any girl in the world, maybe even you.
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
  I like your "Pretty Girl" poem more and more... I only have two little critiques for you:
1. 'No one' is two words, not one.
2. Something about your second line doesn't feel right to me... I don't know, it doesn't blend well with the rest of the poem to me... maybe try rewording it?
Anyway, good work, keep it up!
~Melissa~
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by black_beauty18 | [ Reply to This ]
  hmm interesting write. There is something missing...perhaps its just me. I have not read #1. I will try to go read it. I like this piece. good job, keep writing.
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by rockunsilenced | [ Reply to This ]
  OK Des, you have my interest. I'll watch to see what you do with her, now you've set the story up.
You're teasing a bit with such small instalments, though.

I certainly hope you're going to tell me WHY she feels like she does, since she seems to have everything going for her.
I'm prepared to wait for the answer.

Well done

be Happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
  hey...i havent read the first one yet but i believe it is about a girl who is hurt inside...but everyone thinks shes quite alright...totally used to be me. well if its you...choose one...either scared. or pretty...

-Suicdalchild51-
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
  its good i liek the style of the first pretty girl i was expecting more but it was good, it seems to me about a girl who hides everything, which may mean it suposed to refeclt you
| Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by crazzybeautiful | [ Reply to This ]

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