Description: just something a little simple, just to express to that special someone, how i feel
A Simple Love Poem -------------------------------------------
Eternal bliss and butterflies
clear night skies
Only filled with
endless clusters of stars
Kisses endlessly flow
to purgatory, I will gladly go
No regrets, lost in your eyes
with every touch
my soul quietly rises
to the depths,
with no escape,a magnificent fate
to have to surrender to you
let our souls twist even deeper
and express, once again, that
I LOVE YOU
"Eternal bliss and butterflies Sparkling champagne clear night skies" That says love, passion... "No regrets, lost in your eyes with every touch my soul quietly rises to the depths, with no escape,a magnificent fate to have to surrender to you let our souls twist even deeper" And that is sensual - Someone is very lucky to have you This is beautiful Lisa
I liked how this poem was simple. The lines were short and that helped the message become clearer. I enjoyed reading it, and I smiled at the end. I then read it again. It was good the second time too, but I noticed your use of the word soul. What is your idea of a soul? I didn't really get it. I like the line, "No regrets, lost in your eyes..." There's a hint of cliché, but I believe the words. Good work, love poet!
Good job. -_- Simple, yet very sweet. I liked some of the lines a lot. My favorites: -Eternal bliss and butterflies -let our souls twist even deeper
Hmm, I don't know they kind of striked me funny. Lyke when I read the first line, I knew right away it was going to be a poem I was going to like. And it was. The only thing is...and this is extremely nitpicky, considering there is nothing else wrong with the poem (and I always like to say at least one thing that took away from the piece) At the end the I LOVE YOU, because the poem was beautiful and strong, you don't need caps to get your point across. That, and I just have a thing against a whole line of caps in general. Sorry this wasn't very helpful, you probably think I'm a total loser, heh. Keep writing and I'll keep (attempting) to come abck with some helpful comments.
the purgatory line needs to be altered as well as some of the forced rhyme... dont take away from something that is described as simple by forcing emotions and unneeded words... you would have had something decent, if not for the choice to try and make it spectular.....