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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: MOURNING DRIVEdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 252
    Class/Type: Story/Passion
    Total Views: 632
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1160



    Description:
       this is a lil diffrent for me i write these lil stories from time to time but i have been a lil waery to post them because its not really my thing i went on a wing and a prayer. here it is i hope you guys like it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMOURNING DRIVEdots
    -------------------------------------------



    I let my head fall gently on the steering wheel the remnants of last night still sticky on my pressed against my skirt , cars go by and I know ill be here forever , the corner of my eyes finds the rearview and the details of the driver behind me come over me like a wave his eyes are brown I know without knowing his hands a hard ,my hips move slightly at the thought of them .like a dream I am his for now. the hood of my car is hot, burning my thighs a feminine pink, I can smell the sex baking ,his sweat burns my eyes I donít need his name just his forceful stare. I cant remember were my cloths went . I grasp a handful of dark hair and devour his neck he reeks of man no cologne just leather ,salt .I take him in like the ocean welcoming the storm . My head arches to the blinding sky donít move stay I want only for you to fill me a scream parts my dry lips Ö.BEEP BEEP. Reality and a stop sign jerk me from his fire I hit the gas with one last look in the mirror . His arms are in the air and I am sure whatever he is mouthing is profane .. Oh well he drives a bmw anyway not my style I wish I wasnít outta cigarettes though ..




    Submitted on 2005-08-02 21:43:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the highly stylized, Jack Kerouac-esque pace. Also, the line "reality and a stop sign jerk me from his fire..." was awesome. The only odd part was the ending; I didn't quite get it. Otherwise, it was great.
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Aaron Felix | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved it! This was so good. I think you created a scene here that left me fanning myself. Now, this was brief but, very fast paced and realistic. I liked the way you realize you were holding up traffic, daydreaming of sex with this man, and you had no cigerettes to calm you down. I was blushing from my own thoughts on how that could of went down. lol. This was great. Keep them coming.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very good...I can't write stories..my mind starts to wonder and I can't get through with them...lol...I find myself thinking about girls at work the same way..I'm a guy, what do you expect...lol..Good job
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by t0_eazy | [ Reply to This ]


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