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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: trappeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: unknown soldier
    ASL Info:    17/kenner, La (N.O)
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 1348/1346/203
    Words: 334
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 250
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1980



    Description:
       it didn't start off like this but in the end it came out as a depressed piece. at one point i actually start pleading directly 2 God.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstrappeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    can somebody please hit play
    i dont wanna stay
    stuck in this place 4 too long
    its so wrong all along
    u were waiting 2 trap me in this song
    it's like my essence has been stolen
    wit no witnesses and no police patrolling
    feel like someone's controlling me
    watching kids rolling weed
    know that these
    memories are a part of me
    and i need 2 get them back it's a fact
    that they're taking bi's and pieces
    of me just like that
    is it right, where is the light?
    answered only by darkness
    emotions are blades and sorrow's the sharpest
    all this distress i detest
    is this nothing more than a test
    don't know, can i guess
    is that a no or a yes
    why do i have holes in my chest
    am i standing in blood is it mine
    all this time
    i never knew i would die somewhere
    i never knew existed
    and the least u can do 4 me is just listen
    can u please answer my questions
    or just give some suggestions
    how can u wait
    and not try 2 help me escape
    now what are these objects
    that u've placed in my palms
    in one hand's a gun, in the other a bomb
    are u saying i have 2 decide how i die
    and both of my choices include suicide
    u say i have 2 die all alone
    or take everyone with me
    i won't choose either of the choices u give me
    while i've still got life in me
    i just wanna leave
    but still must u keep me here
    i can't hear myself think
    it's like u stole the sound as fast as i blinked
    followin the path i go right
    cuz the one on the left is the darkest of nights
    let me take flight
    i can't see, why have u taken my sight
    i'm not ready 2 die, i must live
    if i have offended u, please just forgive




    Submitted on 2005-08-02 23:58:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      There's no doubting this was really deep. There was so much pain in one write...it sucks that you felt that way. I could really tell why you were trapped...This is so true and it only adds to the intrest of the reader. good write.
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was to deep for me to even critique. I feel sorry you felt that low. It was a highly emotional rap. I felt alot of the pain here. It was easy to see why you felt trapped. I hope you seek all you asked God, and continue to hold on. This was a very good rap. Keep it up my boy. Cheer up, you need your strenght to be my lover. lol.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      emotions are blades and sorrow's the sharpest

    soo true..
    I compltely agree with Magnolia Steele. very deep, and this is soo true. i'm glad you still have life left, if you need anything or just to bs, go ahead ad PM me

    soo good... soo true.. way to go!
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by sacred_tears | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this (as i do with all of your raps) your pain realy shows through.I can realy see why you feel trapped. i hope all goes well for u soon.
    peace

    ~Gena~
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by luvy | [ Reply to This ]
      once again another great piece maybe i am wrong but for a young man you have a great range to your words i hope i am around when you are my age cause i no what your vocals will be able to write in 20 maybe 25 more yeas well done and thanx fo previous comments
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      i can't hear myself think
    it's like u stole the sound as fast as i blinked

    now what are these objects
    that u've placed in my palms
    in one hand's a gun, in the other a bomb
    are u saying i have 2 decide how i die
    and both of my choices include suicide
    u say i have 2 die all alone
    or take everyone with me
    i won't choose either of the choices u give me

    those were my favorite part..,this was really good! i liked them. they were slammin. man...how the [censored] did u learn to write like this!it not fair! =*(! lol!

    -Suicidalchild51-
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow hon. I've been there. This was deep, and teh emotion could definitely be felt. Awesome job. You know I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I'll be gone today, but you can PM or email me. Oh, and things with PJ are hard right now, just fyi. We got into a fight last night, and he's not talking to me. Don't get on him about it though, I'm jus letting you know in case we seem weird. Anyway, I hope you feel better. Luv ya kiddo. Ttyl. Hannah
    | Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      this was so good! mostly bcz of how true it was!it came out very deep and with a lot of emotion! uve got skills!keep it up!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]



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