Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Could Stop Loving Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 527
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 881



    Description:
       I just started thinking last night, "If he would leave me alone, if I could get away from him, if I forgot how his skin felt, etc. then I could get over all this." And then I remembered that, no, I couldn't. It's as pointless as trying to make my heart stop by thinking about it. Loving him comes as naturally to me as breathing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Could Stop Loving Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I could stop seeing your face
    If I could stop hearing your voice
    If I could stop touching your skin
    If I had any other choice
    If I could stop looking into your eyes
    If I could quit hearing you say my name
    If you would keep your hands to yourself
    If things between us could ever change
    If I couldn't see you walk through my door
    If I couldn't hear you moan
    If I couldn't feel you inside of me
    If you would only leave me alone
    If you would stop looking at me
    If you would stop listening to my words
    If you would forget the way my body feels
    If you remembered anything you've heard
    If I could suck the breath from my lungs
    If my world was more than just us two
    If I could keep my heart from beating
    Then I could stop loving you.




    Submitted on 2005-08-03 10:26:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      If I could keep my heart from beating
    Then I could stop loving you.

    I love those lines,
    This poem has such a sad tone to it...
    The only thing I can say is that I'd like to see some periods and commas or something. other wise good job.
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]
      Yep...felt this way many many times. Sometimes no matter how much we want it to go away..and no matter how much we try to MAKE it go away...love just stays. But maybe that's the beauty of it? Anyway this was great...keep it up! ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the fact that you are so strong in your words, as if you are being somewhat defiant with them. It makes a very good visual. It kind of remined me of some of my work, but in a compeltely different way. I say this not to say you are not unique because you are, just that I am going through something that reminds of your poem so I can relate.
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by BeautifulGrace | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    69135

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Giving written by jjd
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Incubus written by monad
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    To written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry