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    dots Submission Name: Touristsdots

    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 459
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1066

       my first shot at Rhyming lil scary what do you think

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The air is so heavy.
    Even breath takes thought.
    Each smell mixes with another.
    I cant remember what I caught .
    The trees cant sway.
    In the stores the snow birds cackle.
    Like they do all day .
    Thereís another storm moving in
    Its always the same.
    There is always another storm.
    We will give it another silly name .
    They will buy up every bottle of water.
    Damn I just need cat food.
    Go someplace else to die.
    I cant help but be rude.
    I cant even park .
    The sky is half sunset half dark
    They come they go
    On every channel is stuff we already know.
    As quickly as it comes the season ends.
    Iíve burned every candle .
    Listening to its howling winds
    Iíve Played every card game twice.
    I should move to the city that would be nice .
    Somewhere out west
    Could give Cali a try
    No with my luck there would be an earthquake
    Id move in on a fault line and probably die

    Submitted on 2005-08-03 11:58:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very good peom and well written.
    I love your ending..

    No with my luck there would be an earthquake
    Id move in on a fault line and probably die

    It made me smile.
    It seems that you're rhyming on random lines. Normally that would bother me, but I like the way you did it. It gave the peom some interesting movement. Almost like the storm itself...
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]

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