For as long as I can remember,
I have wanted a goose.
Not just any old goose,
And not a Canadian goose.
I wanted one of those huge, white
Country geese.
And his name was to be
Bruce.
After several years
of begging, pleading, whining, cajoling
Threatening and snivelling,
I got a goose.
Bruce was coming home.
So I jubulantly kiss my husband,
Threaten my kids if they touch him,
And brought Bruce the Goose home.
Now, there were three family members
I hadn't considered in this plan.
My cats.
For a week all was fine. All was good.
Then one day, when I came home from work
It looked like someone had exploded
A down comforter in my living room.
I slowly step inside,
PRAYING it was just a pillow
When I spotted a rather mangled
Webbed foot.
Then another.
And then..dear God
Is that a beak?!
And my three cats are lounging
On the sofa. Smiling.
Captain Jack, the baby of the group
(and the biggest)
Hunches down, tucks his tail and says
" She MADE me do it! I didn't want to! I love you Mom!"
Then Tigger, the three year old
Lays on his back, rubbing his bulging belly.
Says happily " Ooo, Mommy LOVES me! She gave
me a fresh goose!"
Now Sapphire, the oldest and MY baby,
Twitches her tail and looks me straight
In the eye.
"Yeah, I ate the fuckin' goose. What're you gonna do about it?
(see why she's mine?)
And so that was the sad end of poor
Bruce the Goose. |
Submission Name: Bruce the Goose
) That was the part that really made me laugh. That poor Bruce...what a horrible fate. I like this, it was very amusing. Thanks for the laugh