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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Save Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ola
    ASL Info:    18/f/USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 221/187/42
    Words: 277
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 273
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1617



    Description:
       Tell me what you think.


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    dotsSave Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    I’m tired of this hurting
    I'm tired of this pain
    I come to you on bended knees
    I come to plead again

    Please take a good look at me
    Please take one real hard
    Does this look like a person
    With a healthy heart

    So I beg you to save me
    Save me from this loneliness
    Yea I ask you to take me
    Take me from this filthy mess
    Please shine your love on me
    Chase out all the darkness
    Yea I ask you to save me
    Save me from my distress

    I can’t take anymore of his
    I fear I’m going numb
    You’re the only one I can rust
    My only salvation

    Please don’t walk by without a glance
    Don’t think I’m not worth it
    I ask for one favor (just one)
    Come and Save me, please.

    So I beg you to save me
    Save me from this loneliness
    Yea I ask you to take me
    Take me from this filthy mess
    Please shine your love on me
    Chase out all the darkness
    Yea I ask you to save me
    Save me from my distress

    Don’t you care that I feel this way?
    Don’t I matter anymore?
    So I said it once, I say again
    You’re my only redemption

    So I beg you to save me
    Save me from this loneliness
    Yea I ask you to take me
    Take me from this filthy mess
    Please shine your love on me
    Chase out all the darkness
    Yea I ask you to save me
    Save me from my distress
    Yea I ask you to save me
    Save me from my loneliness




    Submitted on 2005-08-03 15:07:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this...I feel like I'm alone sometimes myself, so I can put myself into this poem...the only bad thing was I thought you used some of the same lines too many times...maybe this would be better as a song...but I still liked the emotion put into it...Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by t0_eazy | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds more like songs lyrics than a poem, but awesome write. Are you crying this out to God, or just in General? Believe me, God is hearing you and is willing to save you, if you let Him. Great Write though. Some of the spelling is off, like

    "I can't take anymore of his." I think you mean "this"

    "You're the only one I can rust." I think you mean "trust."

    Great write though
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by jlpurvis2001 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the way you left it up to the reader to relate who they feel could be a salvation to themselves and guess who was yours. You had a religious undertone, without being preachy. I think this was a great song. I liked your flow and imagery. Good job.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      i think that the way you expressed yourself was so vivid i felt like...i don't know but i felt as if i knew you if only for a moment through your poem
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by poetry chica | [ Reply to This ]



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