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Seaward


Author: Suven7
ASL Info:    20 female Fla
Elite Ratio:    7.08 - 478 /260 /47
Words: 91
Class/Type: Poetry /Nature
Total Views: 1185
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 610



Description:


This was part of an English reading journal from a book I read called "Lord of the Flies." The first two stanzas are dedicated to the more prominent objects in the story (the fire and the conch), while the third one is merely and recently added on for measure's sake.

Tell me what appeals to you and what doesn't.


Seaward



To rest
And be short of one’s guard at night
By day
Stand strong and be without fright
Secure this fire
From the harsh winds of the sea.

To seize
And covet the conch
My sun-bleached, stunning shell
Sing for me as I kiss you
Such sweet, preserving whisper
Grace your island with due serenity.

To pray
And bask under a waning moon
And feel through bare feet
The hum of the shifting shore
Wherein- with each thundering beat
I hear the ocean’s yawning roar.





Submitted on 2005-08-04 09:46:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Your wording and descriptions appeal to me. Gah I wish I had read Lord of the Flies to better understand this poem. I have the book but a friend borrowed it some weeks ago. lol

You write really well... this piece was so pretty. I think if you made the rhyme consistent, it'd be even better! What do you think? Just add in a rhyme pair for stanza two and you're set to go! But this is just my opinion. xD


Your last stanza was my favoritee. This is def a favorites addition.

-Farrah
| Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by babixpeaches | [ Reply to This ]
  "Lord of the Flies"-short simple and a lot of symbolism...I read that book about five times because I had to do a research paper on it. My first choice was "A Hundred Years of Solitude", but I decided to research something I already read. I felt that Jack was a bit misunderstood at times...even if he was a bloodthirsty savage, a bit rough on the edge. I didn't like Piggy, simply because he played the coward...he couldnt even speak for himself...when Jack and his crew put him down he wouldnt put up a fight. Then there was Ralph...a very simple guy to understand...easy. I thought he was a bit naive in the beginning because it took him awhile to see Jacks intentions. My favorite character was Simon...mysterious. The only one who understood the behavior of human nature.
Anyways on to the poem.

To rest
And be short of one’s guard at night
By day
Stand strong and be without fright
Secure this fire
From the harsh winds of the sea.


"harsh winds of the sea"...this is a good description...little did they know it was not the sea they had to secure the fire from...it was their own island.

To seize
And covet the conch
My sun-bleached, stunning shell
Sing for me as I kiss you
Such sweet, preserving whisper
Grace your island with due serenity

This piece is very descriptive. "Sing for me as I kiss you"...the conch-the most powerful tool in the "tribe". yet easily broken. I like how you describe it and its powers. This is my favorite part of the poem.

To pray
And bask under a waning moon
And feel through bare feet
The hum of the shifting shore
Wherein- with each thundering beat
I hear the ocean’s yawning roar.

"To pray"...that too is my favorite. You definitely have a knack for description. This is good. Sorry I went into detail about the book. Anyways, good job.

Later Days
Tracey
| Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by fiery_eyes | [ Reply to This ]
  I have read your poem very carefully and must say that I liked it. I like the way you have carefully chosen the words, the flow and the way you are trying to bind the metaphysical with the real world. It has a nice touch and I enjoyed reading it. But I think you should think about removing the second and in the 3 stanza or the first, because I think it would sound even better ;0) I especially liked

“ Stand strong and be without fright
Secure this fire
From the harsh winds of the sea.”

Nice work ;0) keep writing ;0)

KNS
| Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ]
  since the long message that i wrote just got deleted..i'm just gonna say..."i can totally relate!"

just kiiding,,,but seriously, i think that your words are nicely picked and that it actualy made sense to me even though i'm slow with this kinda stuss.

it has this cool, breezy effect to it that i can picture my self being in an island.
having to see the movie, i know everything that you are talking about in here.

the stanza's are very neat and all piled up...
overall, i think it was a great poem and i couldn't make it any better.

p.s. i hope you write more...i've read all your poems and i think they're exquisite!

-fearless
| Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by Fearless | [ Reply to This ]
  This was good!uuuummm..."Lord of the Flies"
Now, that is a good book. That conch meant so much. Power...Power...Power! Your lil write has a power punch to it. Sing for me as I kiss you, This was a good line. Your whole poem is a good one. I wish it was a little longer. Overall, It is good!, take care, wanda
| Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
  When I first read "Lord of the Flies," it was lost on me... I was reading the words, without feeling them. Once it finally clicked, it was disturbing enough I stopped trusting boys, period... so yeah, I didn't read it right again, I guess.

But this piece is, to me, so much better than the piece of writing that inspired it! It makes me wish the book was written as beautifully as your poem was. Everything fiery_eyes wrote sums up my feelings best, because she hit on every point that stood out to me, and it would be redundant to repeat it.
| Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]


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