Description: I found this stashed in a decrepit notebook of mine dated to my junior year in High School. If you look at this one compared to some of my others CAREfully, you can tell how I've developed as a writer....On a light-hearted note, do YOU know of any dragons that might like this?
Dragon's Creed of Flight (wt) -------------------------------------------
The wind in the wings in the wrestling strength
High in the cumulus at Zephyr's great length
The flight and the flip and the frenzied ascent
Up above Earth is time very well spent.
With twistings and turnings and terrible dives
This is the momement that I am alive
With Ziggings and zaggings and zestiful flaps
I venture to carry myself off the map.
With softness and singing and sorrowful breaths
The sun has gone down, and scarce time is left
With coolness and colours of crimson maroon
The flight is now gone, the moon rises soon.
The blinking and bumbling of beautiful dreams
Peace is not far away as it seems
The dampness and dusk with its dutiful call
Spiraling downwards to slumber I fall...
Cute, for the most part! I am attracted to anything dragon. Even DBZ...but now that that's sort of behind us, this write was fun to read as I counted on the rhymings every line. Some improvements, if you are seeking to do just that, are: "Peace is not (+"as") far away as it seems" on the fourth stanza. Also, the second verse of the first stanza has a syllable too many. It messed up my tongue's rhythm. Somehow I picture a baby dragon in one of his earlier flights where even though he's snubbed his nose against mountainsides and such, he's still perfectly content to be flapping his wings about.
hey trufflepiggy, I enjoyed it and yes I am going into my junior year so I might enjoy it more than most. I am such a dork sometimes, I love to learn everything I can, poem or not,especially about dragons. I think this was very good! The poem seemed very well thought out, not just a quick rhyme, you know? But, yeah, I did like it, I read some of your other work and wow, have you improved! Well, thanks for the new poem I always like it when I get to read something different. Keep Writing! ~much love~ Imaginth
This is sooo cute! I enjoyed it. Remind me of a fairy tale story. The zigging and the zagging and zestful flaps...got us a tongue twister! I can actually see in my mind what you are saying. Good thing he's not the type that spits out flames!lol, I did like it. A good write! take care, wanda
interesting...you definitely covered alliteration and rhyming in this poem...a lot of alliteration. This is kinda cute story-poem I mean. I like how it ends
The blinking and bumbling of beautiful dreams Peace is not far away as it seems The dampness and dusk with its dutiful call Spiraling downwards to slumber I fall...
"slumber"-to surrender perhaps...this is always an interesting word...one of my favorites. The way it sounds rolling of my tongue leaves quite a sensation. The meaning its beautiful. I don't know why. anyways this is good.
i have to admit, the ryhming did sound like it wasn't forced. as i was reading, i pictured the pig on your picture above so it was kinda funny at the moment. wow...a flying pig..nvr thought of it that way...
"With softness and singing and sorrowful breaths The sun has gone down, and scarce time is left With coolness and colours of crimson maroon The flight is now gone, the moon rises soon."
i like this stanza as it shows you're running out of time. i also like the last line...it made me kinda smile. i agree with suven7...a cute image! i might read more of your poem...just keep in touch with me..
Haha, i had to log into your account to make it so I could actually post. i was surprised I remembered your password without looking at my wall (i'm at school right now, joy oh joy). Anyway, on with le comment!:
This is beautiful, to say the very least, I love it and I can really imagine the dragon up in teh sky, twisting about and just enjoying him(or her) self. You always make me feel like less of a writer, Kate, you're just so good at everything! I love you lots and I miss you more everyday...I'm going to call you when i get home, i have some important news for yea...talk to you soon my likkle piggeh!
Submission Name: Dragon's Creed of Flight (wt)
