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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: From Hate To Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: maninthemirror
    ASL Info:    17/m/arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 224/318/109
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Alone
    Total Views: 766
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 350



    Description:
       This (to me) is so sad I wrote this yesterday and after I wrote it I was really depressed I couldn't really talk to anyone either....I hope it doesn't have the same effect on any of you that it had on me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFrom Hate To Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lightning strikes and Thunder tumbles
    What once was peaceful now holds chaotic rumbles
    Random screeches, Violent cries
    Satan teaches the Pirate's lies
    what Was innocent is Now corrupt
    what was good has changed, Abrupt
    Hate and Love is what has changed
    From hate To love, its been diranged




    Submitted on 2005-08-05 08:55:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow! It's hard to find a poem that rhymes and still has so much of the raw emotin this exibits. Sometimes though rhyme can kill a poem so if you can keep it going this way do it as long as possible but watch yourself closely.
    -Mike
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
      It has alot of emotion: yes. But it seems like it's missing something. The ending seems "abrupt."
    ANd the rhyming makes it sound kinda mediocre. Change it up a little bit more and cut out some of the ... um... inevitability. The rhyming makes it seems predictable.
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Brooklyncutie83 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it. Very powerful, very deep. Wish I could say more, but I don't really know what to say. "What was innocent is now corrupt..." I think that line describes me perfectly!
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent! The rhyme scheme was just right, not over done, or tacky. it was an intellegent piece and written very well. Good work.
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Static | [ Reply to This ]
      OH my gosh! :) i really really like this. Juss put the commas where needed and its perfect. Its so deep. Great job. I hope to read more of your writings.

    ~*Erica*~
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by DrkRomeo_sGirl | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm... i felt deeeeeep feeling in this, and i lke how you didnt say how u were felling like..."im so depressed" you made people find it. great job!

    -Suicidalchild51-
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]


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