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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Moment (explicit)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Munchie_1226
    ASL Info:    25/F/E.STL
    Elite Ratio:    4.49 - 1831/1834/185
    Words: 223
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1915
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1433



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Moment (explicit)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Shhh… Don’t say a word.
    Something special is about to occur.
    Close your eyes…. take a deep breath.
    When I get done… you won’t have any left.
    As I undress you….”How was your day?”
    As I kiss your neck…I’ll still hear what you say.
    I’ll bring your stress down… you feel so tense.
    Running my nails up your back to cause more suspense.
    Temperature’s rising…so are you.
    My bra, and pants…. You slowly undo.
    I climb on top of you…I begin to kiss your chest.
    Calmly running your hardness… in-between my luscious breasts.
    I look in your eyes… watch how you bite your lip.
    I feel your strong hands… helping to rock my hips.
    You gently push me over… and spread my legs apart.
    As you climb on top of me… the real tension starts.
    Harder… and faster…. As I grasp on the sheets.
    No other sound… then our own sexual beat.
    I’m trying not to climax… I want to wait for you.
    Yet, as you thrust inside me… my thoughts become untrue.
    The sound of you moaning… I know your getting close.
    Your whole body weakens… As you fill me with a dose.
    Sweat dripping from your forehead… your lungs about to collapse.
    As you lay helplessly on me…from the passionate moment that just elapsed.
    ...........................
    ......................................
    “I love you, too.”




    Submitted on 2005-08-05 08:57:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      *Looking around for her cigerettes cursing that she can't find them*


    Damn. Yes. I conformed. But, I can't help it. All of your passion pieces I've read are so tasetfully explicit. The rhythyms and everything. It draws the reader in and leaves them breathless in the end.


    PS: Don't feel the need to comment on my work I'm trying to get to +30 I'd taken a leave from the site for a while and now I'm back to get my reciprocation up. So, don't feel like you have to comment back. I'm just doing everyone a favor. Thanks for the read!

    BCute<3
    | Posted on 2006-08-21 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I suppose you don't need another comment saying DAMN!!! But here it is DAMN!!! I really like this because you know how my poems are well, it's been awhile, but anywho, I love that someone else is willing to explicitly explain sex like I love to do so much.. Yet your poem showed more passion than some of mine do. I lost so many of those lovely poems about making love and I'll never get them back until I feel like being sexually expressive again. I've been a prude lately and it could be from lack of sex lol. No, but I loved the format of this poem because it was a lot different from any other... Like how you explained an action than.......Lead to another reaction VERY NICE!!! Can't wait to read some more Girl you better be reading Zane books if you like sex cuz damn I highly recomment Nervous if you've never read Dammmnnn that woman makes me tingle the whole way through. All kinds of booty goin on Keep writing Peace Mysterious
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by Mysterious Blue | [ Reply to This ]
      Ohhh, that was super super sexy! I love your rhythm. A very sensual piece. I'm all for erotic poetry and this was just on the good side of cheap porn. Makes me fell all nice and dirty and...mmmm. Fabulousity!

    drowning_queen
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by drowning_queen | [ Reply to This ]
      Can I get a cigarette and a cold shower here? :)
    I really liked this because it was explicit, but it wasn't just hardcore animal sex...there was an element of extreme passion contained in it. Either way, I really did like it! Great job!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmmm such an intense and emotionally stimulating piece. I felt like I was intruding yet observing this intimate moment. Like you want to take part, but you are not the enjoyer...This is a marvelous piece..Its so yummmmmy...really enticing...I was literally breath taken!Excellent write...you captured all the imagery so meticulously...My fav verse "As you climb on top of me… the real tension starts" Its just hmmmm really something!Thanks for sharing this ENTICING piece...Kind Rgds Nobantu
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]
      Intense. very well written and very, very descriptive . This is very well written and I have to say "Damn, that's hot!" I love the entire thing. You know, you should write for harlequin or something. Awesome piece.
    J
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      Can I put my clothes back on now? Ha! Just kidding. Or am I?

    If this wasn't pure tension. I felt like I was reading a porn instead of watching it. Did I just say I watch porns? What I meant to say was... Aw hell...I watch porns.

    When you comin to the Chi?

    Dialo
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Xtremebiter | [ Reply to This ]
      wow i'd have to go with bentnotbroken and say this really was hot. but it went beyond that, because it was passion and not just lust, there was love, and you showed that in the last line, and i love how you ended it that way. this was very well written, great job
    -steph
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
      Heh, heh, heh...ha, ha, ha...ho,ho, ho...
    Laugh my arse off...rolling on the floor

    Rolled to the left...and something made me stop
    Rolled to the right...and something made me stop

    *looks down*

    Oh...it seems I have a "kick stand"...

    Very explicit yet not vulgar. Such a nice way you put into words one of lifes most enchanting peaceful moments...now...I gotta go have a smoke...whew! Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! So is that what sex is like? I had forgotten...lmao. Just kiddin, I'm just jealous. Haven't had that kind of sex for quite a while - too old and lustless, I guess...aw well, getting old sure beats the alternative! Great poem hon, full of love and passion...*whispers in ur ear - does he have a brother????*
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Inducted_Kitty | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn!! there goes another pair of shorts!! :)
    BrownsDelight already owes me three pairs of shorts and you!!

    This was very well done erotic, lustful and explicit yet passionate and loving at the same time. What a nice way to be greeted at the end of a streeful day~!

    Very nice write - Keep it up and you'll keep me up! :)

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      a true description of sex... filled with the emotion and feeling that someone gets when they use sex as an intimate moment not just to get a thrill out of it.. lili this was well thought of and well written.. i enjoyed reading this
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by solemnpen | [ Reply to This ]
      very passionate and unyielding. this is a great write. something to be very proad of i think. i am in awe of it realy.. its a great poem and i was just getting to believe girls lack the compassion they claim they have. well i guess i still think most of them do. but i am guessing your guy isnt complaining about that .

    Yet, as you thrust inside me… my thoughts become untrue.

    that lines makes me wonder thou...
    cya take care.
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]
      Well that was stimulating for sure. It was a great piece with deep feeling and was very intense. It was breath taking, and with all the imagery. I really liked this, and I'll look out for some more writings by you...
    *Melissa
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by frozenconscienc | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, well, well...Somebody has a hot summer fling going on! Who is he? Where he live at? Tell him I'll kill him! LOL

    Anyway, this was hot, romantic and sexy all in one. I could hear Cater To You playing softly in the background as I read this. WOW! The imagery at the end was just amazing. Just last night I laid helplessly on top from what had just elapsed. What more can I say...You did it again!

    X
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked the way you organized this peice...it goes well with the subject of your writing...i can relate Ik the feeling not in these exact surcumstances but close to it thank you for this wonderful write-martinimadelvr
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by MartiniMadeLvr | [ Reply to This ]
      Eroticity, erotic city, however that is spelled - it is all over the place in this piece. The second to last line "As you lay helplessly on me…from the passionate moment that just elapsed"
    Tenderness described so well -
    Very well written - gods I hate living alone...
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      go, go, go baby this was so sensual, sexy and the description of you all so sassy and him all so helpless with a mix of takin-control-sluty behaviour. . . I loved it! U kinda got me planing ma next date with ma cutie...this sexy mood that u created is contagious!

    Keep spreading the love
    Nadia*
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      mm mm mm. well, someone's gettin hers! hehe, this was good, not like pornographic but like... sensual was the word that was used i guess. i like that you ended it with "i love you too" so as to let the reader know that it wasn't a one night stand or anything like that. great job. ...bb...

    XoXo
    ~Tayla~
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      super duper, my balls dropped. its been a while, well [censored], u prolly don't remember me anyway. this was great. me n my friends sometime go to wal-mart and read aloud erotic novels to old women and beautiful young ladies. YOU CAN DO IT! holla~nahlij
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn...just, damn. I need a cigarette. What you wrote is a work of art, it belongs in a museum right beside the Mona Lisa. Youe words, the rhyme, everything fits perfectly like a puzzle. I saw, I felt, this poem, incredible. I don't have many words to say except for..wow. *leaving to get a cold shower*
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by Lee Minsu | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, call me perverted but I only clicked on it because it said explicit. Hey I'm only human right?

    Well, anyway I did get a treat reading it. I'm sure glad someone is having great sex, since I'm not. I can't even remember it. LOL.

    This was just erotic enough to be on the verge of porn without crossing the line. It was very enjoyable to read since we all need a little spice in our lives.

    Great use of words here and the rhythm kept it moving smoothly all the through. Great Work. Now I have to go cool down.

    Brightest Blessings,
    Crystal
    Crystal
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by lenotoire | [ Reply to This ]


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