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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Simon's Beddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Suven7
    ASL Info:    20 female Fla
    Elite Ratio:    7.08 - 478/260/47
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Poetry/Society
    Total Views: 734
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 363



    Description:
       Simon's gruesome fate on the island of a book called Lord of the Flies somehow endeared him to me. It was not only that but also the fact that he was the one most enlightened with the understanding of the human nature.

    Read William Golding's book if you haven't!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSimon's Beddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Silently rush by
    You’re among the trees
    In the waning, sinking eye
    You’ve fallen on your knees
    May your tears clear, bow your head
    Young boy
    O, let the ocean be your bed
    And let your body be its toy
    Now a victor of their fears and sorrow
    Simon, let this be their tomorrow.




    Submitted on 2005-08-05 11:07:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is intresting to me for more than one reasons... first and formost... i hate lord of the flies.. on princple.. good writing, just can't stand it... BUT, i thought this was wonderful... really a good write... like always you write like a painting and it's a beautiful way of introspection

    second, it is said that simon was meant to be the christ character... there are elemnets in him i can see, certin simalarities... but i never really bought it, the way you show him, and explain him... i almost buy it...

    this is wonderful.. like usaul.. i missed it..

    flipside
    | Posted on 2005-10-03 00:00:00 | by milo stills | [ Reply to This ]
      That's really interesting because i JUST posted something up that also used tomorrow/sorrow as a rhyme pair. lol Freaaaaky!

    Another Lord of the Flies related write- this book must've been that good to inspire such wonderful writing from you.

    This line I don't think you need the 'and.' It's just one of those times when I'd rather not find an 'and' there. lol Or you can just ignore I said that =P 'O, and let the ocean be your bed'

    Great wording- especially in these two lines
    'O, and let the ocean be your bed (minus the and)
    And let your body be its toy'

    ANother great write from you. I'm considering stalking you. ;P

    _Farrah
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by babixpeaches | [ Reply to This ]
      What a lovely drowning image... it's almost sensual, the way "let the ocean be your bed and let your body be its toy..."

    I love the beginning as well, because I've always thought when I die, I will hang in the treetops, a ghostly verision of Julia Butterfly Hill maybe, in my own little luna... then ascend.

    You wrote this with such amazing imagery, it makes me want to re-read the book to see if I can get more out of it this time. You're going to be a great writer one day.
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
      again another lovely poem of Lord of the Flies. How true it reflects society's behavior and to think its only a bunch of kids. How hard they try to act like civilized adults but in the end turn to be exactly how grownups are...savages bloodthirsty for power leadership. Yes it is sad how Simon died...but better for him. I don't remember but in the book there was a dead parachute man, Simon was the only one to know of right? He was the only to have the nerve to actually examine it? Yeah i believe so.

    O, let the ocean be your bed
    And let your body be its toy
    Now a victor of their fears and sorrow
    Simon, let this be their tomorrow.

    this is very good right here. the word "O" (or letter) adds a sense of desperation or sadness. You truly have a way with words. I like this poem, one because its very descriptive. And two because its about Lord of the Flies...a very good book.

    later days
    tracey
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by fiery_eyes | [ Reply to This ]
      This is good. Lord of the Flies, truly a good subject to tackle. You have accomplished that task. I must say quite well.

    Lord of the Flies is a must read. Show how youngsters can turn barbaric. It was a form of survival...and the weak shall be deleted.

    O Let the ocean be your bed, this I can picture.
    A graphic picture. This is a good write. Continue using "Lord of the Flies" to display your poetic skill. Take care, wanda
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
      first of all, Lord of the Flies is truly an amazing work. this is the second time I'm mentioning Lord of the Flies in my comment of someone's poem... haha. for your information, my favourite character in the novel was Simon too... it shows how blind we can be to what is happening. it is a known fact that we cannot achieve others' belief without eloquence, while the combination of otherwise could actually work. a true misfortune of human nature. before I go on ranting about the novel, I think I'd better turn my attention to your poem again. haha. your poem is short... but pithy! the play of the language with the ocean being the bed, and the body being the toy... that was clever of you too. liked this write... haha, I can't be exactly objective though, considering my liking for Lord of the Flies. well done anyway.
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by zhi wei | [ Reply to This ]


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