Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Goodbye or Hello?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 405
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 700
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2562



    Description:
       THe last time we were "together" he stayed for three hours after we were done, just talking, and lying in my arms, and watching tv. We were doing what we used to do, when we were together. And he kissed me like he meant it. And I don't know what to do anymore. It was just perfect.
    This is just an outpouring of those feelings. I wasn't really worried about the flow or any of that. This is just raw emotion. Be gentle!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGoodbye or Hello?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I pretend to be asleep cause I know that's what you want,
    My nude limbs tangled up in my sheets.
    I have to fight not to squirm as I hear the door open,
    And listen as you remove the shoes from your feet.
    You lift the sheet from my torso,
    Cool air rushes in.
    I shiver with anticipation
    As your fingers brush my skin.
    The smell of your body stirs my senses.
    You start to slip inside of me.
    My body automatically arches upward to meet yours.
    You raise me up to my knees.
    You move in and out, slow, then fast.
    You bury your face in my hair.
    You inhale my scent, and all my worries,
    And right now, I'm without a care.
    You slowly nuzzle my neck.
    Your mouth searches for mine.
    I turn to meet your hungry lips
    As you pound into me from behind.
    Then, suddenly, I'm on my back,
    And you're inside me once again.
    And I look into your eyes, and I guess I smile
    Because you give me the sexiest grin.
    I'm drifting somewhere between fantasy and reality
    Because you are everything that I want.
    This moment is perfection.
    Every skill you have, you flaunt.
    You kiss me over and over again.
    You've turned me inside out.
    Every ounce of willpower I possess
    Disappears at the touch of your mouth.
    You whisper into my ear,
    Using your soft, sexy voice
    "How you doin, baby?"
    I guess this was my choice.
    I catch my breath and whisper an answer.
    "Better, now," you say.
    Better than I've ever been,
    If only you would stay.
    So we go on in this game we play
    Are we just fucking, or is this more?
    I don't know where any of this is leading,
    What surprises life may have in store.
    All I know is the scent of your skin,
    The touch of your fingertips,
    The warmth where our bodies meet,
    The power of your lips.
    Time has no meaning here,
    But it never lasts as long as it should.
    I lie in a sex-filled haze
    Because you felt so damn good.
    When it's over, you're still here.
    Instead of running out the door,
    You lie here in my arms.
    I feel like there's still more.
    Hours pass in this perfect state,
    But it's finally time for you to go.
    Is this real, it doesn't feel like good-bye.
    It feels more like hello.




    Submitted on 2005-08-05 12:40:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I can definately relate to this poem. I have been there and this too is such a frustrating feeling! The poem was really good. The flow was just a little bit choppy, but other than that I enjoyed reading it! Good job!
    Alissa
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      um. maybe you should just elaborate the ending a little bit. otherwise it was really good. i can tell that u like this guy a lot! and u feel good when u r in his arms. i liked it its just the ending! but if u like it then u can keep it! good job!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was nice as well. I liked the rhyme and flow to this poem. I think you may want to sort out your feelings when you are NOT so aroused. Then you can decide where this is going, or just ask him. So far looks like you have ticket on a merry-go-round of feelings. I hope you find your anwsers and some peace of mind. Good writing.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    69415

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    the living moment written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Fasade written by jackz
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Carry written by saartha
    prison written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry