Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Abducteddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: The Conqueror
    ASL Info:    21/female/Missouri
    Elite Ratio:    3.48 - 178/204/42
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1126
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 471



    Description:
       Please, if you read this, comment. I am dying to hear your opinions.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAbducteddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Abducted by your soft embrace
    kidnapped by your kiss

    Trapped against your gentle touch
    stolen by burning bliss

    Captured by the things you say
    siezed by what I hear

    Ensnared by thoughtful little smiles
    snatched by whispers in my ear

    Overtaken by your wild eyes
    ambushed by your scent

    Detained by that loving look
    caught up by what it meant





    Submitted on 2005-08-05 15:53:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is quite good with some excellent rhyme ... (suggestion: if you give the second line in each stanza the same number of syllables--say 5 syllables, you will notice the poem moves along more quickly with a much more musical tone) I like it muchly ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-04-13 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, you write well. Your vocabulary is amazing. This poem is making me want to go and learn some more words. I really loved this. The rhyming scheme was nice, and I like how you used all of those scary words in a good way. It was a sweet poem, that made me wish I had someone that special.

    Piper
    | Posted on 2006-07-07 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]
      You have such a way with words! I love this stuff! I wonder what it would look like if you wrote a poem like this longer? I really like the length of this one the way it is though. Just a thought.
    | Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by bgmullet | [ Reply to This ]
      hey thanx for the comment on untitled i am glad you enjoyed it is a little short but i did not want to ramble on i had appox 300 poems on this site some very long and others in various dark fantasy death and love but i deleted
    i took your advice to read some of your thoughts
    this one is very peaceful and it seems you wee in a very nice place when writing
    great read
    i will look for more on you work when i am on the site
    thanx for your comment
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      This is structured very well, it just rolls off the tongue so smoothly, but i'd like to see you go into more detail, always strive to do better even if you're at your best.
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
      wow I liked this very much.. how you took the beginning of each phrase and picked the words of description to enter mix and have the same grasp.. grasping at the edges of my thought to make me see that awsome relation between words but then adding the sensual feeling also great!
    Penny
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by pennymarie | [ Reply to This ]
      This is one of the best I have read recently. Perhaps a little longer and a touch more detail. The whole thing oozes sex appeal and is very evocative - well done.
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this alot. I liked the way you used the overtaken theme with each new feeling spoken of. You used great imagery. And your flow was great. Good job.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds like a Celine Dion song. But seriously, it's perfect for what it is, a small package of perfection. Just a tip, why not try writing beat poetry like Bob Dylan did? It's something new.
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by azeremen12 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    69432

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry