[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Hold My Secrets, Little Treedots

    Author: ChaosSubmission
    ASL Info:    16/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 18/30/8
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 820
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 531

       Just...whatever you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHold My Secrets, Little Treedots

    Listen to me
    When I'm down
    Hold my secrets
    And make no sound
    Your green leaves are soothing to my eyes
    They fade every winter and die
    Yet they grow back again
    Waiting for me
    Fresh and new
    Empty and ready
    To hold my life once again
    Contain my secrets and thoughts
    Bury them
    Sink into the ground
    They won't be forgotten
    Save my memory
    For a century
    And when they cut you down
    You may rest in peace

    Submitted on 2005-08-05 22:20:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oh Yes, this is a good direct piece. Everything you stated is so wonderfully put. I love nature poems and this one is a good nature piece.
    Your flow is a real good piece of work. Keep it coming. Good Write! wanda
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very cute poem. I really like it. Sort of bittersweet in the end. You're a talented writer, I look forward to reading more of your work.
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by usemeover | [ Reply to This ]
      Very interesting piece...its an optimistic write...I loved its element of peace ...I felt so comforted when I was reading this one...Its a beautiful write.My favourite verse"Your green leaves are soothing to my eyes
    They fade every winter and die
    Yet they grow back again".However I enjoyed the entire poem...It is utterly moving.Thanks for sharing
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the concept of this, with the tree holding your secrets [kind of like Silverstein's The Giving Tree], but I think you could make it flow a little better. Some lines are too long, and the rhymes are a bit forced. You might consider rewriting this as free verse; I think that would help a lot.


    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a nice poem! It just gave me a sort of warm feeling reading this. It some how reminds me of one of my favorite places to go and sit and think and it is in fact underneath this huge pine tree in the woods. It is great there too cause there are lots of leaves on the ground from the oak trees but then in the middle of this there is this perfect carpet of pine needles all on the ground around and under this tree and it is soft and nice to sit on! You brought me there with this writing and I too, have "a little tree" it just isnt so little! Really good poem!

    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very cute piece. The only one I've read today that actually makes COMPLETE sense...thank god! Anywho, I really like how you used the concept of a tree holding all your secrets. I don't have that great of an imagination so I give you props for this one. You're a talented writer, keep it up.
    Take care,
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by HurtDeepDown | [ Reply to This ]
      its true what steph* had said-u hav quite a imagination to write abt secrets and relating it to some thing as simpal as a tree!
    very cute!
    love ur work,keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by sharu | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]