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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Soldiers keep Dyingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: solemnpen
    ASL Info:    18
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 303/339/42
    Words: 242
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 1291
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1697



    Description:
       this is just a little ghetto harmony, inspired by the old song... its so hard to say goodbye

    it is what it is

    RIP to all the boys gone


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSoldiers keep Dyingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Chorus
    I'm sitting in the moonlight
    thinking bout another ghetto night
    there's another gunshot
    another mama crying
    damn soldiers keep dying

    1st verse
    sitting on the porch reminenscing
    on the soldiers im missing
    never knew it would be this cruel
    never thought id cry
    never thought he'd die
    damn soldiers keep dying

    the pain aint caught up yet
    maybe just needs another sunset
    before the hood collects its debt
    my mama keeps praying
    i can hear what shes saying
    but this is what i do!

    chorus
    I'm praying in the moonlight
    thinking bout that fucked up night
    there's that gunshot
    another mama crying
    damn soldiers keep dying

    2nd verse
    we gon ride tonight
    whether its live or die
    gonna leave this writing shit behind
    but im tired of seeing blood on stop signs
    another soldier dead without commiting a crime
    but still nobody hears my rhyme
    damn soldiers keep dying

    we thought that boy was strong
    he promised his mama he would live long
    now hes in his mansion looking down
    watching me sing this shit with a frown
    damn soldiers keep dying

    at 14 done nothing wrong
    now his death is told in my song
    whats wrong with that picture?
    drugs and money still flow
    life and death aint nothing to the ghetto
    when we leave the streets
    people we cherish our beats as we grow
    but soldiers will keep dying

    repeat chorus




    Submitted on 2005-08-05 23:46:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This whole piece is great, sad and sadder still is the reality of what you are saying
    "I'm praying in the moonlight
    thinking bout that [censored]ed up night
    there's that gunshot
    another mama crying
    damn soldiers keep dying"
    This was one that hit me
    Great write, GREAT WRITE!
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good. I'm not in a good comment mentality right now, but if I don't comment now, I will forget. So sorry this is crap. Awesome write though, totally serious. Wow, I sound like...I don't kow, weird. Later. Hannah
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a pretty good write. I'm not into rap, being a 43 yo f*rt, but you've done a good job with this. Nice work.

    Peace,

    Joey
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      gonna leave this writing [censored] behind
    but im tired of seeing blood on stop signs
    another soldier dead without commiting a crime
    but still nobody hears my rhyme

    i like these lines the best cuz even through all the deaths of soldiers people still wouldn't listen 2 u even though u got some relevant [censored] 2 say. good job cade
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      its so real. that's really all there is to say. you put it out there in a way that makes every word you say believable and truthful. i knwo the realities of living in a bad neighborhood, even tho i don't live in the kind of place i could be (section 8 like a sum [censored]). the reality is, people die everyday, we know that, but some of those people's number wasn't called at the time it was taken. real [censored] cade~P
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      To my mind, this poem is talking about mothers who know their sons are dealing drugs to make fast money, but are powerless to stop them..."before the hood collects it's debt, my mama keeps praying, I can hear what she's saying, but this is what I do!". Are the 'soldiers' the runners? The 'hood' the dealers? Is she asking you to stop dealing drugs, but you can't,cause of the money, and 'that is what you do' to make it? (not you personally) Was a friend who was a runner shot and killed? "reminiscing on the soldiers i'm missing" and "never thought i'd cry, never thought he'd die"? Sorry if I'm way off base here, but this is how I am relating this in my mind...
    Another powerful write...I like this a lot
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by Inducted_Kitty | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this piece, expecially the last verse. i feel lke sorrow is filling the cracks in my body when i read this...its super sad! Sorry about all the [censored] in your life. idk how that helps...i wanna go back for you, if i was like...magic, id do it for you. cuz u deserve it more than i do. i mean ya ive been through some hard [censored]...but DAMN, how the hell are you survivin! lol! well keep your head up.

    -Suicidalchild51-
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
      Who gives a crap about invalids killing eachother on the streets over drugs and other monstrosities?
    What about all the soldiers out there dying overseas so that you can circle jerk around from porch to porch scribbling this dribble you call poetry?

    Besides, the only ghetto in Louisiana is within New Orleans where I once lived. And even that doesn't even compare to the $hit you really should be thinking about.

    MyX
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      damn i don't know MyX was thinking..this is a great peice of Poetry. Just because there are soldiers dying over seas, but there are also some dieing over here in the ghetto life...this sounds like it could make a good song..i would enjoy hearing it one day on the radio...

    peace


    rp. to all the brothers that have died in pain
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by Kay | [ Reply to This ]
      I also think this is quite good and as far as MyX goes, well he likes to dish out [censored] and then get up in arms if you call him on it. I didn't care for a particular comment he made on one of my poems either and he refuses to reply to my comments now even though I have two of his poems as favorites and they were pretty good. so don't let him bother you. he just needs to grow up. any dedication to anyone who has died is worth writing and reading.
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      The fact that portrays everybody on the streets as invalid is complete bull[censored]. He obviously doesn'y know what the [censored] he's talking about Myx that is. I have delt my share of drugs carried guns and gone and found myself in cuffs and have had friends die on the street. It hurts so much, really. Most people don't realize until they are gone.

    As far the write I did very much enjoy it. It was very up front and forward . You told the story well. I might consider putting it into my favs conidering the heart you put into it.

    Brack>>>>>
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by Brack-Attax | [ Reply to This ]
      I really dont see what the f*ck Myx is talking about.. he needs to pull his head out of his a$$ and actually start liviing in the real world..
    as for the write.. tis really really good...
    you know what youre talking about and you know the pain... cant ask more than the emotion you brought out... GREAT job!

    Danielle
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by sacred_tears | [ Reply to This ]
      hi, this is a very good write, i rarely say what i like about others work, but here is truly heart to mind thought, tom
    | Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      Solemn-15! You have a lot going on! I hope you keep this up...(writing) I'm seeing stuff here I don'tknow if you intended, like the mansion he's looking down from. That show to me a gospel or even blues reference to heaven. In one line you personified the ghetto, saying "life and death ain't nothin TO the ghetto" ONE LINE! very nice. I certainly like how you stress the aloof, caught- up -in -it of the young men, and the helpless grief of their mothers (& grandmas, don't 4get!) We mothers are united in our hatred of street wars & institutional (country) wars. And you boys are united in growing up to be proven men. You captured this very well, Mr. Pen!
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by CleoCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      Great job. I'm really at a loss of words. You did such a fantastic job and everyone seemed to have seaid everything I did, and I really hate repeating a comment. So I'll just say well done and keep writing. You have a great talent, hold on to it.

    Rain
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      damn i don't know MyX was thinking..this is a great peice of Poetry. Just because there are soldiers dying over seas, but there are also some dieing over here in the ghetto life...this sounds like it could make a good song..i would enjoy hearing it one day on the radio...

    peace


    rp. to all the brothers that have died in pain
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by Kay | [ Reply to This ]


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