Description: Well I was suffering from major writer's block for quite some time....and I hope that this has broken it.
This came from many emotions...and me just finally somewhat finding the words for them. Although this has only scratched the surface. Anyway....I hope this is better than my last few posts.
I am not concerned with the punctuation whatsoever...so please dont point that out.
I'd love to know what you think. Maybe it needs more.....?
These tears rest so securely
upon the lashes of my eyes
Crying out for many reasons
none of which I dare explain
Each fallen vessel holds a piece of me
yet the loss seems not to weaken me
and so I'm strengthened by
what seems to be in vain
The uncertainties rest heavy
on the surface of my life support
It's so difficult to feel enlightened
as I once knew before
Every chance of rejuvination fails
and I'm waiting on something
That has yet to come,
once more
Every drop of rain
soaks another perfect scene
and karma seems to be the blame
for almost everything
I only look for another entrance
for that which never sleeps
the heart that never keeps
a single washed out dream
okay first for the description: no one should stop writing because they have writer's block. if you do have it then write about it...write about the emotions it brings out...make it unique. ive tried and it works. now to the poem.
Each fallen vessel holds a piece of me yet the loss seems not to weaken me and so I'm strengthened by what seems to be in vain
these last four lines of the first passage caught my eyes. You cry and yet you are not weakened by the tears you shed...good. Just the way you worded it alone left me amazed.
Every counted raindrop soaks another perfect scene and karma seems to be the blame for almost everything
one thing i have to say...not all tears end like this. there are those cried for perfection or something other than sadness. but i guess in this poem its sadness. to use karma as a scapegoat is clever...well i dont know if you would use the word scapegoat.
I only look for another entrance for that which never sleeps the heart that never keeps a single washed out dream
to me as i read this it makes me feel like there is a sense of hope beneathe your many drops. you look for a door that is always open-never sleeps-the heart never remembers the bad dreams...don't know? however i like the line with the entrance that never sleeps...for me it addes hope. this was an interesting read, not bad at all.
Submission Name: Unveiled
