[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: SLEEPER TO SLEEPERdots

    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 500
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 550


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    As darkness comes I see them lying there
    Peaceful and serene
    They seem a perfect pair
    I find myself wanting to send you photographs.
    Your angel dancing in the rain .
    I realize you’d see through them though and recognize the pain
    Its quite in the cemetery
    Its only people sleeping deep
    I know its only silly me with a secret I cant keep
    If there was ever a time you were needed trust it is here
    I know I am alone though
    Wrapped in silence
    Doused in fear .

    Submitted on 2005-08-06 21:10:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like, i like... good poem.. i like thel ast two lines

    "Wrapped in silence
    Doused in fear ."

    i know what its like to sit in the cemetary and just think... then hope... then get depressed...

    good write
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by sacred_tears | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it alot i guess more i know the whole depressed thing god i don't really know what to say to it it made me feel sad because...anyway it was good
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by gothicgirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I do like the flow, and the imagery is good as well. I suppose I don't have any critisism or anything of the sort, so good write. I hope you do well in life.

    Someone's dying hero
    | Posted on 2005-08-06 00:00:00 | by bloodwing | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful words, they flow like blankets on a cold night. The rythme is good and i love ryhming poem now adays they are few and far between. You are very talented i can not tell you anything that should be adjusted only, I only write to ask if you have written anything else?

    Semper Fidelis,
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      You did it again lady! This was so good. You were on right on with everything. I have been pleased with the progress you have made in a short time. I can't find fault here. Great job.
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    AI written by poetotoe
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]