Sprint by angelfyre

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Sprint dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	angelfyre
ASL Info:	17/yes please/here
Elite Ratio:	4.07 - 254/238/76
Words:	191

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	218
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1192

Description:
sorry it's not very good....just thought i should post a happy one since most of my recent ones have been fairly sad

Sprint

-------------------------------------------

I run to your smile inside the translucent sun.
Splitting the horizon with determination.
The dew that ignores my presence
reminds me of the right kind of tears
I so freely cry for you.
As if cued, the grass sings as I silently pass.
A complicated short journey of weakness
to an eternity of strength.
I cant slow.
Sharp winds remind me that my miracle awaits.
With the light in my eyes,
I wipe the blood and sweat from my brow.
A growing happiness in the distance beckons for me.
The thought of my future keeps my legs strong
and my mind stronger.
An inconceivably beautiful embrace paces in the clouds.
I cant slow.
My feet continue as my soul takes a minute
to forget the painful complexities of the past.
I see your smile setting with the sun and my pulse quickens.
A moment of anxiety washes over until the moon greets me with your eyes.
The sun that warms my spirit.
The moon that sparkles in my eyes.
The grass that calms my pain.
You are my everything.
I'll fight to the death,
to reach my life.

Submitted on 2005-08-06 23:38:30 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  i liked this poem and it was put together excellently. as i went through the poem i needed to read faster and faster because i wanted to see what would happen next.

the poem left me without a great overall feeling but one with hopes for tomorrow because of the lines
The sun that warms my spirit.
The moon that sparkles in my eyes.
The grass that calms my pain.
You are my everything.
I'll fight to the death,
to reach my life.
all in all a very good poem!
| Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]
  you're right, this poem was not very good. this was excellent. all of your metaphors are so original. i dont know how you did it, but it also makes you feel like you are moving faster and faster through the poem. it just kind of draws you in with the feet that are sprinting along towards your love. i really did like this poem. good job and keep writing.
| Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by brokenroses | [ Reply to This ]
  i really like your wording you might think this isnt much but i think this was a really good piece. and it doesnt make me quite... happy when i read it but it leaves me with a sense of hope for better things to come.

!NICE!
| Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by wretched_muse | [ Reply to This ]
  There was a spiritual underpinning in the metaphors used in this write. The words cues were very picturesque and open-ended in the expression of emotion. There were no explanations as to why the writer seemed so dependent upon the subject of her write; there was just a raw desperation.

This was very well written and personal.
| Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
  *I run to your smile inside the translucent sun.
Splitting the horizon with determination.*

(An almost invisible source of heat, of love...is always just out of reach, although it reshapes everything around you and inside of you)

*The dew that ignores my presence
reminds me of the right kind of tears
I so freely cry for you.*

(the temporary vision of an age old rain, gathers around you..but you have no need for simplicity and ordinary arangement, you see a sort of resemblance to the real thing, the right tears are so easily cried..given that the soul is never too exhausted from the discouragement to love with everything it has)

*As if cued, the grass sings as I silently pass.
A complicated short journey of weakness
to an eternity of strength.
I can't slow*

(You accept the realities in place, the malicious scaremongering...but only cause there is peace to be found, in the long run)

*Sharp winds remind me that my miracle awaits.
With the light in my eyes,
I wipe the blood and sweat from my brow.
A growing happiness in the distance beckons for me.
The thought of my future keeps my legs strong
and my mind stronger.
An inconceivably beautiful embrace paces in the clouds.
I cant slow.*

(Every painful step in life, every sorrowful moment reminds the soul of what can be instead..the opposite of what is happening...the soul can patch up any leaky hole, any terrible burning travesty that life can throw at you...if it has a reserved place between the arms of a cloudwalker..)

*My feet continue as my soul takes a minute
to forget the painful complexities of the past.
I see your smile setting with the sun and my pulse quickens.
A moment of anxiety washes over until the moon greets me with your eyes.
The sun that warms my spirit.
The moon that sparkles in my eyes.
The grass that calms my pain.
You are my everything.
I'll fight to the death,
to reach my life.*

(No matter how blue the skies, how white the sand, how perfect the embrace..the past must always be treated with much respect, regardless of the level of torment that memories bring..you see yourself taking too long to let go, you worry too much about the future wilting or disapearing off the edge of the earth, but you fail to see that love guides everything, and the whole universe is painted with the soul of god, the sun and moon hold the same touch in common, and just like the darkness of the incoming night spreading its withering seed all along the roofs of unsuspecting common folk, death will always creep along that very same countryside carrying all the wrong and wasted intentions on his back...while he can simply snatch the heartstrings of some up without a fight, he cannot touch fate.)
| Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by Reckoner | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.