Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Clouds (Yin and Yang)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ajyra
    ASL Info:    18/female
    Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 65/57/22
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 295
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 444



    Description:
       This is a poem I did a looong time ago, and recently dug up from the recesses of my room. I changed bits and pieces of it, but, for the most part, it is unchanged.

    Any thoughts on how to fix it are greatly appreciated.
    :3


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsClouds (Yin and Yang)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Yin and Yang,
    Light and Dark,
    All is shown
    amongst the clouds.

    Carefree and bright,
    clouds show the light
    foreboding and hateful.
    clouds show the dismal.

    Even the typical, shown
    by the overcast
    days of winter.

    Fogged and hazy,
    Overcast and Angry,
    Clouds show the
    Light and Shadow,
    Yin and Yang
    of Everything.




    Submitted on 2005-08-07 19:57:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I caught this from the title - and glad I did. This is great. I like the rhythm and way it moved.
    I like how you described the clouds
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't like this one, I couldnt find the flow to it and felt it was very patchy. Sorry to be honest. The emotions just aren't very powerful in this one, although I did like the concept (the Yin and Yang title caught my eye) I think it deserves more than this, start again from scratch but with the same thoughts is my view on improving it
    sorry,
    Laura-Grace
    | Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.