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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Adam and No Evedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 879
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 544



    Description:
       The title alludes to the perfection of belonging as opposed to simply floating in the general direction of the current of humanity.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAdam and No Evedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The vindictive
    betrayal of past loves
    hasn't cut
    the tendons
    deep enough to
    slaughter honesty,
    abrade the blade sawn
    edges into the fantasy
    of former lies;
    pitting the perimeter
    with half-formed dreams,
    floating miasma
    plucking out the eyes.

    Either peel away the sinister
    dilemma with the same shade
    that haunts the wordly-wise
    or live with a similar misery,
    of sorrow sewn in a
    uniform disguise.




    Submitted on 2005-08-07 22:33:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      the title also drew me in. i think your word choice is impeccable, and that is an important hurdle in itself. you have also mastered flow here. great job. you have skill, there is no doubting this. cait
    | Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by PhotoNegative | [ Reply to This ]
      lol...you wrote the oppiste of what i just read...well..yeah and it belonged to crypto... but i love the title..made me laugh... i loved this poem..


    kay
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by Kay | [ Reply to This ]
      your title was the lure, your words were the bait, and i am that fish you capture with this powerful piece of poetry. nice!
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by L.i. | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and cool. Good way to write it and nice title... it was the title that caught my eye
    It was set out well and because of that it flowed nicely
    keep on truckin
    Laura-Grace
    | Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      your word choices are simply fantastic. I am not sure I understood it perfectly but no matter--it sounds wonderful. I especially liked the following lines:

    'abrade the blade sawn
    edges into the fantasy
    of former lies;'

    you need to correct one typo:

    with half-fomed dreams,--I'm sure you meant formed.

    very nice write.
    | Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      This one is great to be read aloud slowly. The words-did you really pore over perfect ones? Ilove how they sound & the impact. I'm still thinking-my brain is still in the poem. That's good. It lingers, and i want to know which way the Adam chooses!
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by CleoCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      i really enjoyed this poem and your views on forgetting the past and building new relationships based on trust and passion. thanks for the comments on sea foam waves also. keep writting i really enjoy you flow and perspective on life and love
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]


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