All At The Mist Of You

Author: POETRY ASL Info:    17/f/az Elite Ratio:    4.29 - 259 /141 /37 Words: 113

Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed Total Views: 1205 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 587

Description:

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All At The Mist Of You

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Dont say you know what I am going through because you dont know the pain You know nothing Dont say you love me when you really dont mean it, Dont say you care when fact of the matter is you dont give a damn My hurt is the at the mist of your power the power that you are holding The power that you have created over me. I cant understand how you could be so cruel to someone that you clamin that you love so true When a heart is is broken it starts to die and because of you my heart is dying all at the mist of you

Submitted on 2005-08-08 19:25:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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okay the way i read this poem i thought it was awesome. so if i read it wrong then it probably blows(jk{wink, wink}). and so i'm a gonna tell you how i read it:standing on my head... not really. okay time to be serious. as i read this i felt like you were telling it to me. like i could really see and hear your anger standing right in front of me. your use of periods (or lack there of) is exquist. it makes you sound like you're so mad you can hardly think straight. and then when you do use a period its sounds like not that you've lost your anger but rather you've regained some mental stability and can now focus your anger into more precise cutting and intelligent(less primal) remarks. the spelling mistakes only serve to enhance the feeling of anger. like you're too mad too care. i believe you should maybe pick a few well planned places in the first part, but then after the period you should make sure you have none to go along with my theory of the return to mental stability. but its just a suggestion. im gonna fave this.k? too bad. i don't care. i'll do it anyway. you can't stop me. that last part's just for grins. :) nick

| Posted on 2006-05-01 00:00:00 | by reluctant_hero | [ Reply to This ]

It has greta promise but I would check the spelling and stuff. Fine tune it al ittle and it could be a really great poem. Like maybe describe why his power over you is like a mist. still keep writing! -Catina

| Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by Boom-boom | [ Reply to This ]

ummm that was dumb of me...I meant great not... ummmm...greta. So I guess I'd like to apologize for that one. Checking spelling is ever so important...yeah...okay?

| Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by Boom-boom | [ Reply to This ]

ok i love this! its just da spelling and ur probaly sick of hearing it! im adding this to my favorites bcz i hate when ppl say something thinking that itll make u feel better but in da end they really dont care! good joB! ~akaila evonne~

| Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]

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