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we are all scared

Author: fallingingreen
ASL Info:    18/f/missouri
Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 136 /141 /34
Words: 205
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1064
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1332


my first real attempt at writing in about month..

we are all scared

white rooms enclose shaking artist minds
as we paint ourselves into our words
of how the world will someday see
all of the possibilities open at our feet
while children run around in the apartment upstairs
crashing feet bottoms onto padded cream carpeting
while we hang posters with clear push-pins
creating holes to later be filled with cheap store brand putty
filling in where we left off
when you lose yourself for long enough
you begin to forget where everything originated from
life becomes a blur of unexpected events
where you feel like you have been there before
a deja-vu set on repeat in a reverie style movie
getting lost in a town we now call home
thirty-six minutes left on a parking meter
while we scavenge for memories
in corners where kids puked their hearts through mainstream attempts at falsified love
tires squeel and sirens sound as the night falls into our crashing hold at what we thought was reality
blood stains the collar of your favorite shirt
from catching tears from little girls who seemed big enough to make a differance
when in the inside, they were only little girls to begin with
so comfort yourself, because aren't we all

Submitted on 2005-08-08 20:18:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  this is very good. I like how it flows and the things you are trying to get across are working very well. I am not sure about the last part. you had started with 'we' and then you go to 'you' which is a little awkward but works ok. and difference is misspelled. but those are minor things and I think this is a well-thought out write with great potential. it has depth and feeling and a sense of figuring things out. and it says so much. nice job.
| Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
  I love how you include such minor details that ultimately become so important to a piece, I wish I had that talent, cause believe me I've tried but it never works out for me like ti does for you :-) I like this, I think there is ore to it than I can take unfortunately, but from what I get, it's awesome, like always. :-)

| Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]

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