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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pretty Poisondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 669
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1093



    Description:
       I've met several women like this; if not for cruelty, they'd have no enjoyment at all.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPretty Poisondots
    -------------------------------------------


    You're kind and
    sweet and good,
    but that's not
    my style.

    I need your
    transcendant anger
    to explode
    into fistfights
    and fornication;
    towering sparks
    of blissfully intricate desire,
    sweet honeyed blood in every kiss,
    that's what I miss,
    that's what
    I'm familiar with.

    I need to ride
    your tumescent rage
    through walls,
    around the room,
    in cheap hotels,
    parking lots,
    cars,buses;
    midnights in
    the hushed oasis
    of cemetary tombs,
    black and blue.

    I need to caress
    your tenderness to
    rage, laugh and claw
    the white-hot passion
    from the skin. My sin
    is that I'm never
    cruel enough
    to finish with my
    men; I merely
    castrate them
    on the sweet
    tip of a pen.

    If love is a
    sickness, then
    I'm in love
    with the
    sickness
    I'm in.




    Submitted on 2005-08-08 21:33:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm...?? This is a well written poem from the woman's point of view. And I will say that this is pretty sick. Maybe if you keep meeting this kind of woman then maybe you might actually like this yourself? I mean, this may not be true, but I know I am not like this. I wouldnt want some guy being angry and physically abusive towards me. I want a man to treat me kind with a soft touch but to still be strong as well. This kind of woman sounds pretty scary to me haha! Kinda like a she beast! This is definitely a different sort of topic here. It is well written and expressed. I would run screaming from this if I were you!Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I just love the rythm.. the way you start with short verses that grow towards the middle and then they're short again. Especially the last stanza is great!
    You really get the emotion through this, also! Some women really are like that.. but so are some men. ;)
    | Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by silverfragment | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good... I have also met women like this...my sisters for instance, I'm so different from them , which is odd, youd think id be like them...Anyways this was wonderful, this made me picture things in my mind...I like the ending too, its catchy ! Nice job !
    ~Kelly~
    | Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by MurphyGirl44 | [ Reply to This ]
      Jeezuz..hang on...ok, I read it again, and it IS her speaking.

    Interesting, there can't be that many of this sort of girl out there, surely!?

    I like the way you have fantasized what YOU would love in a woman, and wrote it from her point of view to shift the blame/guilt away from yourself.

    Very easy to read, and once again, interestingly different.

    Nicely done.

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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