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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Darkness....thy souldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: forestspirit
    ASL Info:    21/m/inside
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 58/45/27
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 858
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 733



    Description:
       This is a poem I wrote a long time ago. By a long time ago I mean like two years ago or something. I found it while rummaging thorugh some old stuffs. So, I thought might aswell post it. I would like some opinions on this. I did change it a bit from what it used to be but I would like an overall assesment andy suggestions are more than just welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDarkness....thy souldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Darkness, O how they hate thee
    Bringing fear among the sinners of light
    Feared as evil by the weak at heart
    Impurity trembles under thy shadow

    They symbolize you as death
    But, is death not a relief from life?
    Thou art life and thou art death
    For our lives begin and end in darkness

    Darkness, they dub you as the deluder
    But, what they know not is that thou art the best guide
    For, in darkness a true enlightened soul emanates
    But in the light the aura is faded

    Darkness, O in thee I shall take refuge
    With you and no other soul to intrude
    The fertility within the barren
    The raven upon thy soul




    Submitted on 2005-08-09 01:09:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I usually find poetry that doesn't rhyme quite difficult to follow (just a personal preference) but your poem flowed beautifully.

    These two lines caught by attention from the start;

    Bringing fear among the sinners of light
    Feared as evil by the weak at heart

    The first line because I imagined someone who did wrong in the light and had no distractions at night and was chased by their conscience. The second line because there are people who fear loneliness or feel vulnerable at night.

    Thou art life and thou art death
    For our lives begin and end in darkness

    Again, these lines caught my imagination because of the truth in the words. The only difference being, we have knowledge when we die.

    Darkness, O in thee I shall take refuge
    With you and no other soul to intrude

    I am a bit of a loner and I find great solace in darkness and in being alone with my thoughts. I have never feared it, perhaps that's because my conscience is clear?

    Mel.




    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by litllost | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW!
    i love this...
    it kinda reminds me of 'death be not proud' john donnes holy sonnet... perhaps its the langauge used... i dunno but as i am in love with John Donne and the afore mentioned sonnet i am inlove with this write of yours...

    the ideas this presents are so well thought out... how feared darkness is and the light in which it is portrayed (perhaps light aint the best word choice...)

    i find it interesting how you praise darkness... almost stating that if it werent for darkness we would never find our way... never find ourselves or our true character...

    you know... i get the idea here that eevryone is so busy avoiding darkness and you appearing to know the truth about darkness causing you to abide within darkness and pursue a quite intimate relationship with it (in comparison to the rest of the worlds...)

    ok so im kinda distracted and not doing this write any justice through this comment so i am gonna take myself off to bed (its 2am on this side of the world...) and i will be back tomorrow... till then know that i am in love with this write...
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      this is beautifully written. its the first poem of death I have come across that embraces death rather than fear it. the beauty you portray darkness in is amazing. not to mention the style of language which goes well with this piece.

    But, is death not a relief from life?
    Thou art life and thou art death
    For our lives begin and end in darkness

    How true you are. We are all born to die again...and in darkness we are reborn. I believe that to live is but a sleep from death. A temporary thing. This just blows me away.

    Darkness, O in thee I shall take refuge
    With you and no other soul to intrude
    The fertility within the barren
    The raven upon thy soul

    the raven upon thy soul-wow! you have a way with words. this poem is absolutely beautiful. you are the first i have seen to welcome death and not hate it. many people cant see what death does. at that one moment when we die, that one second we have the chance to see life at its most intense moment...our last breath we can breathe natures beauty. we can see the world as we never thought we could. to die is not what i fear, i would love to so i can capture that last moment of beauty before i go. this is well written. you have definitely captured my poetic heart. for that i applaud you.

    tracey
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by fiery_eyes | [ Reply to This ]


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