Description: This is a poem I wrote a long time ago. By a long time ago I mean like two years ago or something. I found it while rummaging thorugh some old stuffs. So, I thought might aswell post it. I would like some opinions on this. I did change it a bit from what it used to be but I would like an overall assesment andy suggestions are more than just welcome.
I usually find poetry that doesn't rhyme quite difficult to follow (just a personal preference) but your poem flowed beautifully.
These two lines caught by attention from the start;
Bringing fear among the sinners of light Feared as evil by the weak at heart
The first line because I imagined someone who did wrong in the light and had no distractions at night and was chased by their conscience. The second line because there are people who fear loneliness or feel vulnerable at night.
Thou art life and thou art death For our lives begin and end in darkness
Again, these lines caught my imagination because of the truth in the words. The only difference being, we have knowledge when we die.
Darkness, O’ in thee I shall take refuge With you and no other soul to intrude
I am a bit of a loner and I find great solace in darkness and in being alone with my thoughts. I have never feared it, perhaps that's because my conscience is clear?
WOW! i love this... it kinda reminds me of 'death be not proud' john donnes holy sonnet... perhaps its the langauge used... i dunno but as i am in love with John Donne and the afore mentioned sonnet i am inlove with this write of yours...
the ideas this presents are so well thought out... how feared darkness is and the light in which it is portrayed (perhaps light aint the best word choice...)
i find it interesting how you praise darkness... almost stating that if it werent for darkness we would never find our way... never find ourselves or our true character...
you know... i get the idea here that eevryone is so busy avoiding darkness and you appearing to know the truth about darkness causing you to abide within darkness and pursue a quite intimate relationship with it (in comparison to the rest of the worlds...)
ok so im kinda distracted and not doing this write any justice through this comment so i am gonna take myself off to bed (its 2am on this side of the world...) and i will be back tomorrow... till then know that i am in love with this write...
this is beautifully written. its the first poem of death I have come across that embraces death rather than fear it. the beauty you portray darkness in is amazing. not to mention the style of language which goes well with this piece.
But, is death not a relief from life? Thou art life and thou art death For our lives begin and end in darkness
How true you are. We are all born to die again...and in darkness we are reborn. I believe that to live is but a sleep from death. A temporary thing. This just blows me away.
Darkness, O’ in thee I shall take refuge With you and no other soul to intrude The fertility within the barren The raven upon thy soul
the raven upon thy soul-wow! you have a way with words. this poem is absolutely beautiful. you are the first i have seen to welcome death and not hate it. many people cant see what death does. at that one moment when we die, that one second we have the chance to see life at its most intense moment...our last breath we can breathe natures beauty. we can see the world as we never thought we could. to die is not what i fear, i would love to so i can capture that last moment of beauty before i go. this is well written. you have definitely captured my poetic heart. for that i applaud you.