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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Garden Rosedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lmz
    ASL Info:    40/female/USA
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 3433/1529/84
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Prose/Passion
    Total Views: 1966
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1013



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGarden Rosedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Young innocence budding
    in early morning twilight,
    glistens with dew.
    Slender elegance hides
    behind tightly wrapped petals
    afraid to emerge.
    Modest in its perfection,
    yet as hours pass
    warm sunshine emits
    gentle rays of promise.
    Soft breezes disperse fragrance
    from nearby flowers
    creating curiosity to see
    how it compares to others.
    Slowly begins to peek,
    loosening its firm grasp.
    Wanting to view,
    opens carefully, looking around
    comparing its radiance.
    Opening further, smiling,
    releases sweet aroma.
    Unique scent blossoming
    becomes more beautiful
    with each passing moment.
    Realizing its exquisiteness
    visualizes its true beauty
    continues to bloom
    until fully open.
    Displaying vivid color
    its loveliness unequaled,
    aroma heaven scented.
    Standing alone, tall and proud,
    The garden rose




    Submitted on 2005-08-09 08:39:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Is anything prettier? And does anything symbolize Romantic Love more elegantly or better than the lovely Rose! But as lovely as the Rose is, the flowering talent of this writer matches the rose in it's eloquence!!
    | Posted on 2006-11-10 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful poem, and a beautiful picture as well, I love the way it flows...
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by Sharati_hottie | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful decsription. I'm at a loss for words to praise it, but I doubt those who commented before me have failed to say whatever I would. Not a trace of pornography, nor anything that might bring womanhood a bad name. Tip of that hat to you, Lorna. Never stop writing.

    DeepDreamer2008
    | Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]
      Much has been written about the beauty, majesty and serenity of the rose. In my mind, a rose will always symbolise the flower of love. Many similarities exist between true love and the rose and I for one adore roses.

    My favourite rose is 'Allgold'. A yellow rose when first sprung is as perfect a form as there is and the fragrance is mind blowing.

    Anyway, your poem was breathtakingly good in describing from bud to bloom. Your powers of description are excellent. Maybe there is scope to expand beyond the bloom and consider bringing your rose to life and to make it breathe, live and not just exist as a flower.
    | Posted on 2005-12-04 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      It's clear with every peice that I have read by you as to why you are one of my favorite writters on this site

    I loved this poem. The innocence behind it really spoke to me.
    "opens carefully, looking around
    comparing its radiance.
    Opening further, smiling,
    releases sweet aroma."
    Although described as a flower my mind took this piece as the transformation from child to adult.

    I love the way your descriptions captivate the imagination, you can almost smell and feel the soft petals of an early spring rose with the words that you used!

    Again, you are a hidden treasure and a pure delight to a very crazy world. your work makes the reader sit back and take in all the beauty around them.

    hugs,
    Ella
    | Posted on 2005-11-30 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]
      You know this is such a beautiful write...I can't find anything about it that I would suggest changing. This could actually class as a love poem in my opinion and I make no secret that they are my favorite. I think you did a mighty fine job composing this poem and I truley enjoyed read'n it.
    Take care,
    !doc`
    | Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      I envisioned the beautiful Garden Rose as a human life
    It fit and matched up perfectly

    This is another beautiful and well written poem by you

    I cannot say enough how much I love your writing style

    Take Care
    Ron


    And thank you for your recent comments ALWAYS enjoy hearing from you
    | Posted on 2005-10-24 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Flow:

    It's pretty monotone, to me.

    Imagery:

    Superlatives aren't used sparingly, creating a rather flowery language, pun intended.

    Composition:

    The way the poem grows is quite good and smooth, though this doesn't make for any surprises.

    Word choice:

    Nothing out of the ordinary, though generally pleasing.

    General comment: You described the beauty of a rose growing, but I didn't feel it. It felt like a doll to me, beautiful on the outside, empty on the inside.

    The good news:

    You're a wonderful person regardless of what I think of this poem


    I guess I'm going to hide somewhere in my cave now..

    Love

    Lib
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by Lostinbeer | [ Reply to This ]
      Your antithetical second line is interesting, with the use of ďmorning twilightĒ, if only because it suggests the end of light, or perhaps the end of morning, yet in point of fact, I believe you mean the end of night and the beginning of morning, so itís something simple that leaves complex impressions <and a bit of a paradox, too.> This can be about a budding rose or flowering womanhood <which is really how I chose to look at it, poem as metaphor>. I like that youíve broken from a more obvious rhyming scheme, and admire the linear progression of growth, from tentative to proud and full of its own life and power. Thereís a hint of the manipulative in your diction throughout, but this didnít really irk me, nor detract from the overall beauty of the piece. Your lines are short and clipped, each unto themselves, but Iíve noticed this is your predominant style of writing, for Iíve seen it in nearly everything of yours Iíve read. If I had a suggestion to make for the future, Iíd like to see you try stretching your lines a little bit, and not ending them at the end of each line, allowing them to flow into one another, even terminating in the middle of a line, or jumping stanzas, with complex internal rhymes to go along for the ride. Youíre very skilled, and itís obvious to me that this SHOULD BE your next challenge to push yourself to that next level. Iíd really love to see the result of such an experiment.

    This was lovely. Thanks for pointing me in this direction!
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      how so beautifully put , not knowing just how beautiful it is , and how it gives pleasure to others just to look and to smell.
    great piece Lorna
    take care
    Elaine x
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by lainie75 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was beutiful. I loved this...I always liked roses...I don't know why...roses are dark flowers if you think about it...It has beauty, yet the danger of the thorns...I must say that you have brought the beauty of this flower to life through these words. I could see the flower blooming as i read this not to mention i could almost smell the rose. Great use and choice of words to explain this. You know, this could kind of be a metaphor to a person and how they release themselves into the world...i know that is probably not the meaning of the poem, but it works anyways. Excellent job!
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ]
      hi Lorna,

    This piece is beautiful, explaining the process of a rose in blooming phase.
    "Behind tightly wrapped petals"
    "Afraid to emerge"
    This is so true! If you look at a rose bush, buds are plentiful, there's always one that is a late bloomer. You wonder why that one don't open like the others. You answered that question for me. That bud is afraid to emerge.lol
    "Aroma, is heaven scented"
    A beautiful way of describing a beautiful "garden rose". Lorna, keep on keeping on!lol take care, wanda
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
      Well Lorna you managed to make a rose even more beautiful than it was before! Along with adding some mystery to it that I didn't ever look at before. I loved this piece about a blossoming flower...there's so much to that it's amazing! Another great piece-hope you have a lovely day!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked that alot. it not only reminded of the life of a rose but just life in general. the releasing fragerence being someones kindness to other people. it was a nice read. i liked the way you described the rose because i could picture it slowly growing and budding and becoming all it can be.

    thanks for your kind words on my poem little child in my life
    xoxoxomuchlove-ash
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]
      I must say I'm a bit obsessed with roses and this poem escalated my obsession. I liked the visualization and the imaged emitted by the words. Intricately woven into a story. Liked it a lot. Kepe up the good work

    -The Rose
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by Chi-Town Rose | [ Reply to This ]
      Lorna, this was such a beautiful description of the awakening and blossoming of one of God's most beautiful creations. This was story telling as well because it had the feel of a story in terms of the rose's "coming of age" and appreciation for it's self.

    Now Lorna, I can read between the lines and from what I gleen of you from your poems and comments to others - YOU ARE THAT ROSE!!!

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it! Kind of reminded me of the 'ugly duckling' story - don't know why, but it did.lol
    I especially love how u said "Aroma is heaven-scented"! I have never ever thought about what heaven would SMELL like! A beautiful thought though, and I hope if I ever get to heaven that it smells like a rose, instead of like the stinky cigarette smoke in my house! lol cher
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by Inducted_Kitty | [ Reply to This ]
      ya know what Steve is so right that rose is you Lorna. i agree with the good Dr. you are a special rose not only to me but to alot of people here on elite. im putting it up cause its lovely and true. mike
    ten smileys and a favorite for the wonderful rose of the garden.
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is quite a beautiful and wonderfully-written poem that you have penned here. Your detailed depiction of a rose gradually and gracefully blooming is exquisite.

    Now although it is apparent on the surface that you are describing a garden rose, just like the title suggests, I cannot help but see that what you are really writing about is the gentle blossoming of a young girl from innocent childhood, through insecure adolescence into confident womanhood, all through the use of clever metaphor.

    I must say that you have executed this briliantly. This is absolutely wonderful and very well done. Thank you so much for sharing this.

    Kirk
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by timberwolf720 | [ Reply to This ]
      Lorna, I must reiterate all the comments left below. This is beautifully and delicately written. You really out did yourself on this one. I will find myself looking at a rosebud in a more elaborate way from now on, thanks to your intricate details in this delightful poem.
    I agree, it has a more human meaning as well.. as of one blooming into their own and realizing their beauty and what they have to offer the world. That could very well be YOU as we have all come to know you here at ES....
    and it could be anyone really.. as we all have that inner beauty.. we just have to be willing to let it bloom.
    A wonderul write. Thoroughly enjoyable.
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this alot. You took us the stages of this rose growth in a poetic way. Great imagery and good flow. I loved the fact it seemed as if I was really watching this garden rose bloom! I saw the sunlight on red petals. You have done it again, Lorna. Great job.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very well written and has the definite feminine perspective in the visual cues and blossoming perspectives. This was a joy to behold and read.
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      BEAUTIFUL work here! Love the way you portray her as shy. 'Comparing its radiance' speaks a lot about women and how they feel about their bodies as well, especially since most of them are roses but don't feel they are. One nit - I would take out the quotes around heaven scented; you really should let the poem talk rather than talking yourself. The reader makes all the value judgments anyway. :-)

    Peace,

    Joey
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      What a beautiful poem Lorna. I wish I had seen this sooner. It is very sensual for a number of reasons I can't go into without embassasing both of us! And yet not a word in it I that couldn't use in front of mother - very clever. What wonderful imagery and word usage. You must have spent a long time on the meter because it reads as smooth as silk. Beautifully done!
    Bill
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by rankamateur | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, what a lovely poem, and I can see the connection here with youth and beauty and the rising of the human sences during our period when our hormones are forcing changes in the way we function and grow!
    Well, if you get a chance, come to my little garden where you might find "Rose, Lilly and Mum"
    Great work, well written and so pleasing to read!
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      Lorna, you would already realize what a good piece this is.
    It's a perfect metaphor, in that you can read the entire poem from a botanical viewpoint, and it's a lovely descriptiion of a bud coming into bloom.

    OR you can see a young girl coming into maturity, and every word fits perfectly.

    So I'll stop raving about it, my only advice, and this is purely from my point of view, is the no-break format you used, which I feel "hurries" the reader through the piece. Beautiful words like these need to be read slowly and savored.

    The only other thing was the "Its loveliness unequaled
    Aroma is "heaven scented"

    I'd write it
    "Its loveliness unequaled
    Aroma heaven-scented"

    Like I said, just my ideas. The poem is wonderful, you can be really proud of it.
    If you get time, look up my "Chrysalis" it's a similar idea, but using a butterfly instead of a rose.

    Five stars from me *****

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I am like a rose. I stand there and never get picked though. see I am nice looking only when someone is drunk, the thorns are what they see when they are not lol

    loved this one
    peace
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by dudethis | [ Reply to This ]
      I have nothing to offer you really that hasn't been said already. Although I will say I like the fact that you capitalize every line regardless of whether or not it is a full sentence. That makes me officially not the only one I know of that does it I really find little relevence in punctuation to poetry

    This piece is beautifuly grafted with vivid description and a fountain of pleasant poetic keepsakes. I think this one will have to go on my wall.

    MyX
    | Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a really good piece...beautiful comes to mind imediatly.Your imagry was good...some parts I did have a little trouble visualizing though but I don't think thats a big problem. nice choice of words...overall great write. keep writing. peace
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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