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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Whisperdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 841
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 594



    Description:
       I'm working on a proposal at work and I just needed to take a break and write something creative! Just a quickie!
    Love,Peace,Joy!!! tif ; )


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhisperdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The wind whisphers
    Shhhhhhhhhh ~ ~ ~
    a story it does speak

    A tale of dancing with snow
    on a high mountain
    peak

    Gliding with birds
    over land
    across sea

    Not to be stationary
    born to be
    free

    Coming from north
    it brings a chill
    to the west

    Never invited
    but always
    a guest

    No beginning
    middle
    or end

    Just a whisper
    from Nature's
    blowing friend







    Submitted on 2005-08-09 17:27:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      the poem itslef had a light and airy feeling to it and I felt as though I was being transported over the tops of the words. Excellent job
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by Tarwen Nevle | [ Reply to This ]
      wow i liked it it was simple yet profound the breaks were perfect and i could almost feel myself up on that mountain and hear the wind whispering in my ears great job
    siara
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by poetry chica | [ Reply to This ]
      Heh heh this was rather cute.

    I am a huge fan of the wind and all of the beauty it can bring but with such a distructive side to it.
    Hot summer days need wind don't you agree?

    ~shawn
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how the stanzas are broken apart; it gives it a feeling as if you are even whispering the poem to us. I love the subject matter being a nature nut. The rhyming works well too. Might want to check over spelling/typos (whisphers-> whispers). But I love it. Wish some wind would feel free to be my Guest now! lol
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by literary lover | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a very nice write about something that we often dont think too much about. i loved the rhyming and the word choice, it feels as gentle as the wind itself :) I also love the personification of the wind. great job
    ~bkj
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by bkj43 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the fact that this referres to the lil things sometimes people overthink things i know im guilty of it this was just simple and flowed so well i enjoyed reading it
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by layDsayD | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice winderiffic poem :). Your rhyme scheme works well as usual :) I know, I know, it's been awhile since I've critiqued a poem but heh :) Anyways good job, I enjoyed it much :) Oh, and good luck with your friend:)

    Toodlez

    Stw
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by Stwcjj | [ Reply to This ]
      How delightful!

    Tiff, this shows your writing talent perfectly, just s jotted-down masterpiece! A beautiful ode to a lovely breeze, like yourself, always a breath of fresh air.

    Very very nice.

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      billiant i hope this will continue nothing better than a whisper of love or the smell of nature
    very nice
    thanx for your comment on zombie am glad you enjoyed
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Sometimes poets here try to impress us with their stunning language. I am not a fan of being wowed by any kind of artist. If this is what you soul said, I like it all the more. So believable is the choice of words it rings like wind through chimes.

    In the strophe about wind being a guest you might use

    Seldom invited,.
    but always a guest.

    instead of never. Hey thanks for leaving a note on my page too Tiff, you have a great weekend. So glad to hear you read your work!
    peace and love,
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      This was stunning poetry! I felt like I was there. That was some great writng. I loved the way you pulled in different things from nature to make it more real for the reader. Great job.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      very pretty, like the wind whsipering softly to me. if we listen, there are messages being sent on the breeze, don't you think?
    i always love the simplicity of your work, yet it always speaks volumes.
    peace&breezes
    @ Cat
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      For a quickie you sure know how to throw it out there This was just wonderful to read. And the rhythm was great too. It has a nice "airy" feel to it.
    You gave the wind an almost human side and I really liked that. You know, when you stop to listen, it really does seem as if the wind is whispering softly in your ear.
    In this, you have shared the adventures of the wind with us; dancing with the snow, and gliding with the birds..etc.
    A very enjoyable read. Great job!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]


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