Description: This piece is about situations that we find hopeless, but in the end realize they were not as serious as we thought they were, and also a realization that these events have helped us to grow in a positive way.
Can broken wings take flight? -------------------------------------------
Can broken wings take flight?
rise in the wind with winter's bite
Alone I am lost in a starless night
foreboding and benumbing
in cold sheets of white
There are faint rays of hope
in the distance uncloaked
They call and beckon to me
soft embers aglow
amidst fallen snow
I truly yearn to be free
The grip of death pervades me
with cruel and bitter hands
his thin and stalking fingers
exposed from his cloak
with eyes grey and chasmal
devoid of all hope
Through days and nights
i held fast to my life
the embers ceased to glow
Through pain and strife
an endless plight
Will he ever let me go?
This battle is an endless blight
i feel there's no escape
these tears, these scars
life's prison bars
These wounds they lie agape
Unhealed, revealed, you see my fight
and yet i carry on
Though grounded i can yet take flight
in spirit and beyond
For you see these broken wings
are chains that bind perception
it's all in what you see
outside of this deception
Oh, beautiful, beautiful. I read this one out loud as I read it, and it sounded terrific. The rhythm and flow of the poem are very well down. And not only that, but the poem itself is beautifully written. I am adding this to my favourites.
It's easy to see why this has gotten so many views on ES and look, I even enjoyed it way back in '05! Gosh we are like Elite Seniors! he he he
Again, I am drawn most to your lyrical pieces and I find it easy to feel that you are a musician - I see your poetry as an extension of you but also another extension into song.
There really isn't anything new any of write about but each of us lends ourselves to the pieces and I always feel that in yours.
So that is it, a GREAT POEM!!!
it definately goes for my favorites,
it is very ... i do not how to say it, the word is gone, in spanish is "atrayente", sorry i am Peruvian, it felt thta i could continue reading this , and i wouldnt get bored of this. so thanks for sharing, and if you have time please take a look to my writings,
Peace and love
and have a nice day
Victor
this is the first piece that i have read from you and i must say that you have really impressed me. the theme is something that we have all faced. hard times, pending circumstance, faltering hope etc. you have captured with your words the essence of what it is to feel alone and helpless. this write was very beautiful and quite dynamic. you have really done a great job here. it flows very nicely and the imagery is superb. again wonderful job, my friend.
God bless you. john-paul
p.s. i have just written a poem entitled "She Dances Among Butterflies". it too is about someone who felt hopeless. i would love for you to comment on it.
Well..this was very impacting. It had a lot of darkness to it...yet you can see a light shining from behind the door waiting to be opened.
True...we can all fly even with broken wings...it is all what you choose to perceive.
You did a great job writing this. I am truly over here impressed. The rhythm was such a compliment to the overall affect of the write itself. You showed a lot of pain.....yet you also showed a lot of strength.
I think that you definitely showed a lot of talent with this one.
ah, the darkness.... something i am familliar with. fighting against it and trying to win never easy, but i loved this you wrote so beaaaauuuuuutiful!!! sooo many different things lay hidden in this poems depths but it was excellent, you made sense of it all made it..... realatable it was open and easy to see... does that make sense??? yeah don't know lol!hehe maddie!
This has a style I like. I find that I want to fly with you as you try to take off. The emotional fear of death thats portrayed becomes a fear for the reader too. Well done. -Sageeriol
Sad, but good poem. I again find a hint of Poe in your writing.Through days and nights 'i held fast to my life the embers ceased to glow Through pain and strife an endless plight Will he ever let me go?' This reminds me of cancer patients put through endless pain and suffering with kemo and radiation...'will he ever let me go'
You on the other hand are gifted with writing longer poems. very good use of imagery. There is a mini poem in here...at the end of each stanza 'in cold sheets of white I truly yearn to be free devoid of all hope Will he ever let me go? these wounds lie agape Though grounded I can yet take flight Its all in what you see Outside this deception' Not saying you should change it... I just like it when I find those sorts of things in poems
I have read this several times over.. it intriques me with it's underlining mystery. It could be about sickness, or loss of love, or depression.. but the poem itself is compelling and interesting to read. The title grabbed my attention and I was pleasantly surprised to find that the write itself is even more gripping. The first part is like being in the dark, seeing a faint light in the distant, yet the harder you try to reach it the further away it gets. The call of death- that could mean sickness, or simply that you're tired of living. The 5th stanza speaks of depression of the mind ("like prison bars"). The last part.. hmm.. I think maybe that's an inner light or inner will that you, or others can't see because of the chains of darkness that keep hovering.. but you know it's there.
If I'm way off on all of this.. that just means that you're a good writer and the reader can get so many different emotions from what you've written.
I really enjoy and appreciate your style and the impact of the content you place in your pieces. They are very poignant and illustrative and the flow is flawless. I agree with Conqueror ~ this piece had a Poe feel to it and it was dark but in a human condition way. Wonderful! Love,Peace,Joy! tif ; )
Submission Name: Can broken wings take flight?
