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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Can broken wings take flight?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Martin S. Allen
    ASL Info:    33 male
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 671/237/43
    Words: 185
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1755
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1262



    Description:
       This piece is about situations that we find hopeless, but in the end realize they were not as serious as we thought they were, and also a realization that these events have helped us to grow in a positive way.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCan broken wings take flight?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Can broken wings take flight?
    rise in the wind with winter's bite
    Alone I am lost in a starless night
    foreboding and benumbing
    in cold sheets of white

    There are faint rays of hope
    in the distance uncloaked
    They call and beckon to me
    soft embers aglow
    amidst fallen snow
    I truly yearn to be free

    The grip of death pervades me
    with cruel and bitter hands
    his thin and stalking fingers
    exposed from his cloak
    with eyes grey and chasmal
    devoid of all hope

    Through days and nights
    i held fast to my life
    the embers ceased to glow
    Through pain and strife
    an endless plight
    Will he ever let me go?

    This battle is an endless blight
    i feel there's no escape
    these tears, these scars
    life's prison bars
    These wounds they lie agape

    Unhealed, revealed, you see my fight
    and yet i carry on
    Though grounded i can yet take flight
    in spirit and beyond

    For you see these broken wings
    are chains that bind perception
    it's all in what you see
    outside of this deception




    Submitted on 2005-08-09 17:30:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Oh, beautiful, beautiful. I read this one out loud as I read it, and it sounded terrific. The rhythm and flow of the poem are very well down. And not only that, but the poem itself is beautifully written. I am adding this to my favourites.

    I don't know what else to say. It's perfect.

    Keep it up!

    | Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      It's easy to see why this has gotten so many views on ES and look, I even enjoyed it way back in '05! Gosh we are like Elite Seniors! he he he

    Again, I am drawn most to your lyrical pieces and I find it easy to feel that you are a musician - I see your poetry as an extension of you but also another extension into song.

    There really isn't anything new any of write about but each of us lends ourselves to the pieces and I always feel that in yours.

    smiles to share

    tif
    | Posted on 2007-09-24 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      So that is it, a GREAT POEM!!!
    it definately goes for my favorites,
    it is very ... i do not how to say it, the word is gone, in spanish is "atrayente", sorry i am Peruvian, it felt thta i could continue reading this , and i wouldnt get bored of this. so thanks for sharing, and if you have time please take a look to my writings,
    Peace and love
    and have a nice day
    Victor
    | Posted on 2007-09-14 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      this is the first piece that i have read from you and i must say that you have really impressed me. the theme is something that we have all faced. hard times, pending circumstance, faltering hope etc. you have captured with your words the essence of what it is to feel alone and helpless. this write was very beautiful and quite dynamic. you have really done a great job here. it flows very nicely and the imagery is superb. again wonderful job, my friend.

    God bless you.
    john-paul

    p.s. i have just written a poem entitled "She Dances Among Butterflies". it too is about someone who felt hopeless. i would love for you to comment on it.
    | Posted on 2006-12-15 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      that is so sad
    i mean seriously
    i take it as you sayying though you have paain you will still get up and try again



    Fana
    | Posted on 2006-07-17 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
      Well..this was very impacting. It had a lot of darkness to it...yet you can see a light shining from behind the door waiting to be opened.

    True...we can all fly even with broken wings...it is all what you choose to perceive.

    You did a great job writing this. I am truly over here impressed. The rhythm was such a compliment to the overall affect of the write itself. You showed a lot of pain.....yet you also showed a lot of strength.

    I think that you definitely showed a lot of talent with this one.

    Great job!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      ah, the darkness.... something i am familliar with. fighting against it and trying to win never easy, but i loved this you wrote so beaaaauuuuuutiful!!! sooo many different things lay hidden in this poems depths but it was excellent, you made sense of it all made it..... realatable it was open and easy to see... does that make sense??? yeah don't know lol!hehe
    maddie!
    | Posted on 2006-07-17 00:00:00 | by BarleyBreathing | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it! I can't think of much negative critisim for this as I am sure is not the case with my own writing. I enjoyed so many of your lines.
    | Posted on 2005-09-16 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem i can relate to because at times that is exactly how i feel. you said it very well and to the point that we can and are able to relate.
    erin
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by devonsmom03 | [ Reply to This ]
      This has a style I like. I find that I want to fly with you as you try to take off. The emotional fear of death thats portrayed becomes a fear for the reader too. Well done.
    -Sageeriol
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
      Sad, but good poem. I again find a hint of Poe in your writing.Through days and nights
    'i held fast to my life
    the embers ceased to glow
    Through pain and strife
    an endless plight
    Will he ever let me go?'
    This reminds me of cancer patients put through endless pain and suffering with kemo and radiation...'will he ever let me go'
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by The Conqueror | [ Reply to This ]
      You on the other hand are gifted with writing longer poems. very good use of imagery. There is a mini poem in here...at the end of each stanza
    'in cold sheets of white
    I truly yearn to be free
    devoid of all hope
    Will he ever let me go?
    these wounds lie agape
    Though grounded
    I can yet take flight
    Its all in what you see
    Outside this deception'
    Not saying you should change it... I just like it when I find those sorts of things in poems
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by Tarwen Nevle | [ Reply to This ]
      I have read this several times over.. it intriques me with it's underlining mystery. It could be about sickness, or loss of love, or depression..
    but the poem itself is compelling and interesting to read.
    The title grabbed my attention and I was pleasantly surprised to find that the write itself is even more gripping.
    The first part is like being in the dark, seeing a faint light in the distant, yet the harder you try to reach it the further away it gets.
    The call of death- that could mean sickness, or simply that you're tired of living.
    The 5th stanza speaks of depression of the mind ("like prison bars").
    The last part.. hmm.. I think maybe that's an inner light or inner will that you, or others can't see because of the chains of darkness that keep hovering.. but you know it's there.

    If I'm way off on all of this.. that just means that you're a good writer and the reader can get so many different emotions from what you've written.

    A wonderful write! I enjoyed it.

    Take care,
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoy and appreciate your style and the impact of the content you place in your pieces. They are very poignant and illustrative and the flow is flawless. I agree with Conqueror ~ this piece had a Poe feel to it and it was dark but in a human condition way.
    Wonderful! Love,Peace,Joy! tif ; )
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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