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    dots Submission Name: HOME COMINGdots

    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 513
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 433

       this is about returning home after a devastating loss how every image just rushes over you it hurts so bad but still it is a memory so it is somewhat a welcome a lil confussing i know but the feeling is confusing so anyway here it is hope some one can realte

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHOME COMINGdots

    A familiar pain races through me
    The door opens with the same unoiled creak
    Well known visions illuminate my sickened mind.
    The explosion shocks me .
    I hadnít excepted it this soon .
    I feel the warmth running from my nostrils.
    The nauseating smell of vital fluid helps me to fall.
    It hurls my spinning head into the past.
    I cant make up my mind if the pain is welcome.

    Submitted on 2005-08-09 18:41:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hmmm . . . i dunno. the title took me some where else and then the poem sorta pierced me like knife. it was very good. i don't really like my family that much but now i've gotten used to them. but i remeber feeling pretty sick coming home sometimes and having to deal with. now i just love them for who they are. they are great, i suppose. i'm rambling. it really made me feel. it was good.
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this but I disagree the title did fit the poem. It's very short though, I wish it was longer. But I love the last line. It really hits you, it sort of lets the reader decide the ending and I love that. Good write.
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by HECATE_Sservant | [ Reply to This ]
      u started off good and your content was intriguing but it ended too abruptly and i think there are some loose ends u could tie in but otherwise good job
    | Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by strwytohvn | [ Reply to This ]

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