Description: This is about being dumped and not realizing that it's over.
An Unforgotten Love -------------------------------------------
I once had a love that came and went
Often in sadness even more so in madness
Forever will I cherish the loving she sent
And have undying remembrance
for times that were spent
Sharing the sadness
or overcoming the madness
in my silence I ponder what this all meant
Now she is gone will I see her again
This thought lingers on in my mind
I'm left all alone longing to hear not a din
But her gentle voice warm and kind
u started off well with the first four lines but then i think u lost it...your lines got a bit longer and the rhyming was thrown off. also the rhyming was rocky so it didnt flow too well... but keep writing!
i agree wiht strwytohvn towards the end your words get rocky. and you may want to think about your breaks in the secondd line it might come off more powerful if you broke it in two like "offten in sadness even more in maddness" but then again that could just be because i always do that in my poems and it works. other then that i really thought it was a good piece and it was filled wiht a bitter sweet saddness. good work
Though the flow did get a bit bumpy at the end...maybe that's what you intended? After all, the relationship did 'end'...so why wouldn't it be a bit bumpy?
With that...I still feel this piece is sweet, and soft...reminiscent. We all look back on love, especially one that takes that one piece of your heart with them when they go. Never forgotten. The feeling of this poem was loud and clear, and I enjoyed the bittersweet aching it gives off. Very nice write. I hope to read more from you!