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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Keep On Keepin Ondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: manderz_1207
    ASL Info:    15/f/mi
    Elite Ratio:    5.45 - 95/109/38
    Words: 239
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 751
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1192



    Description:
       Just random writing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKeep On Keepin Ondots
    -------------------------------------------


    I try and act like I don't care your not thinking about me. Do you think that all thsi hurt is what I want? What I want is to go an entire day without you on my mind. Without everything being a memory of you. Now we're done but I can't forget those words you said. of course, now I never want to have to do this again.

    If being in love causes this much hurt in the end, maybe loves not worth my time. i hate that tht feelings I have for you are the same feelings that you have for her.

    Why can't you still hang out with me? Everytime you get a girl it's you and her and no-one matters. I know because that use to be me, the center of your attention. The world around me keeps moving on and yet I'm still on you.

    Stuck on the days of you and i, but those doays are gone and so are you. So why can't I be? Why can't I be gone from all this? I just want to be able to keep on keepin on without you in me. Without your memory in everything I do.

    To just be me without bringing the you. The you of "us" is gone and needs not be wrong. Tis time for me to move on. To keep on keepin on.




    Submitted on 2005-08-10 14:04:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i dont think this is all over the place. i know what your going through i was at that same stage a little while ago but as time passed i found all the pieces of my heart and sewed it back together. I dont think this would be better as a journal entry it makes a very good poem. As for love i also thought that it wasnt worth my time and i almost gave up. But then i thought about how i felt when it was me in the releationship and how i felt like i was on cloud 9 and no one could bring me down. What would life be like if i never exprenced that again. it would be dull and boring. listen if i can go and put myself back in the game you can to. keep your head

    ~Gena~

    | Posted on 2005-10-19 00:00:00 | by luvy | [ Reply to This ]
      That's so sad. I don't know what theyre saying, I wasnt confused at all, and I didnt find it to be all over the place. I'm kind of in the place you just described now. I would expand on that, but you said it all. And you worded it perfectly. Great job ...Keep on keepin on...

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      Not bad for just putting down random thoughts. I kind of understand what your saying but ended up a little confused. I know its about struggling and moving on but you could make your points a little clearer and such but overall its pretty good..there were a few typos, so maybe check over your spelling. And when you look at this over, and decide to revise it then you should make sure your points are clear and not quite as confusing. But good write and keep expanding. Oh, and while I'm at it, you should check out my latest submission and tell me what you think..i would appreciate it.
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by norm | [ Reply to This ]
      This writing is a little... all over the place. And you're right, love isn't worth the time. But maybe you could channel it into a more eloquent writing, maybe a poem or a shorter...thing. I think most of this could be summed up in a shorter paragraph but thats just me. I think the feelings should be channeled into a poem...again, just me. But good thoughts and a good attempt.
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by impassive sky | [ Reply to This ]
      this seems more like a journal entry than anything else...
    you are bitter about love...lol i don't blame you, who isn't...i guess the ones that are still in a relationship. i know how you feel about going about your day and all you want to do is have peace and quiet. but if you are with someone that long, it's hard. finding yourself again is hard. it's something that i myself is doing at the moment and not quite succeeding...:) hope you have better luck...

    christianne
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]


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