this poem is the way i live my life.. if im wrong, sorry but that is just me.. im not in this world to impress just hear to do what i do and get out... you know the feeling, i can tell... but anyways i enjoyed the emotion shown,and this was worth writing
Hey this is such a different piece from alot of the work I have read. I loved your ability to express truth without being abrupt...this piece has got a very liberating element to it..It made me contemplate on how different we are as human beings and what we may constitute as reality may be fervently different from their perception of TRUTH.I thoroughly enjoyed reading this one...It is so marvellously crafted...Such a great write...Be happy...Thanks for sharing..Nobantu
so true, so true. i could not agree more man. really, people are gonna make mistakes, nobody's perfect blah blah blah. but once again, this is so simple but true that maybe everybody should accept the fact that they're gonna mess up from time to time. expectations held too high will eventually fall... ...bb...
see i dont care if im wrong look like a fumb a$s or anything. dont bother me. its in my blood to be wrong at times. even though im always right. lol just kidding. but i agree 100% with this poem. WE NEED ORIGIN NOT CARING DUMB A$S PEOPLE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN PLACE! sorry. but anyways yup i agree.
human is to err, right? i like your attitude in here. just hope at time you are willing to take outsiders opinions. everyone could use a little advice sometimes. this is good. what can i say other than that i love your carefree attitude.
This was a nice write that I enjoyed reading. The first stanza struck me as being the best, grabbing you and forcing you to read more in an eager attempt at finding more of the same. Unfortunately I thought there was too much and too little of that in different ways.
The rhyming of the first two lines sounds very good and the images it conjures in my mind are very clear and positive, as if this person is completely sure of themselves. I donít usually like to nitpick but Iíll just point out that I donít think you need the ďoff ofĒ Iím sure ďoffĒ would do on its own. I canít decide whether you included the ďofĒ by accident, to make the rhyme fit better or simply as a point that it doesnít matter if what you write is wrong. Perhaps you could enlighten me.
However I donít think any of the other stanza match up to the potential here. Also I donít particularly like the repetition of the third line in the stanza. I realize it is to get the point across but I donít think it works as well as it could have.
Having said all that I do like your message here. Too often we think too hard about the consequences of what we say and do instead of just acting on impulse, on instinct. Thanks for the read.
I liked this poem very much and the sentiment expressed within it. Basically you're saying, 'hey, we couuld screw up at any time, but we shouldn't worry or be afraid to write, say or do what we think if we feel that it's right'. Right? Or did I just make a mistake and say something wrong? =P
Anyways, there reallly wasn't much I could find wrong with this poem (haha something ironic in writing this, given the poem's content/message) as far as a critique goes. You did a good job with this one. Look forward to reading more.
this is very familiar to me for some reasomn--it is real smooth I will say that and this is how people should think but is a shame the people that think like this are living a never ending minority. Lamemansterms