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    dots Submission Name: Seasonsdots

    Author: poppa jon
    ASL Info:    44 /m /N.E.
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 34/46/8
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 863
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1242


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    On the beach in early June,
    One of summers simple pleasures.
    Children laughing , playing,
    Digging in the sand for treasures.

    The sweet, warm, breath of summer,
    Turns to an early chill.
    As September slips in silently.
    Hints of color touch the hills.

    Early signs of autum,
    Like the nip upon the air.
    First the blazing foliage.
    Then trees all standing bare.

    Before long the cold of winter,
    Spreads its snow white cover.
    Trees bent beneath frozen weight.
    Breath, that seems to hover.

    Smells of log fires burning,
    Chasing out the winters chill.
    Children playing , laughing.
    Sledding down the hills.

    Summers fun forgotten,
    Lost unto the frozen pleasures.
    No thoughts of sunny beaches.
    Where the children dig for treasures.

    Before long the snow is melting,
    Come the blossoms of the spring.
    The land awakens swiftly.
    As the Robins start to sing.

    The circle goes unbroken.
    As it has for years before.
    Again the children digging .
    Seeking treasures by the shore.

    Submitted on 2005-08-11 05:42:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is really good! I enjoyed reading this one very much! Ahhh...the seasons! What a delightful topic for a poem! I love the seasons, each one having its own originality and character! Winter, to me, sucks the most but I still enjoy watching a snow fall or taking a walk just after it snows and everything is blanketed white! mmm...Nice thought! I like how you blended each stanza and each season to flow together the way you have! I think you have written a fantastic poem! This is quite good! Take care!

    | Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Here, I just thanked you for your comments and come to find you have posted this. I enjoyed reading this, liked the way you moved between the seasons and ran with a theme of the activities of each season...
    I'm a big fan of Winter, although I despise shoveling the driveway, and I really liked your stanza describing...
    "Before long the cold of winter,
    Spreads its snow white cover.
    Trees bent beneath frozen weight.
    Breath, that seems to hover"
    I so see that...and so know it's coming
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      An excellent piece of poetry on the backdrop of Nature's slideshow. All of the visual cues were easily reconizable to the reader and the flow gave the season changes in gradual shifts of time. This was very well done.
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really good poem. I wasn't sure if it was going to be good because I always asscoiate poems about the changing of the seasons with sixth grade but this was very interesting. The poem gave a nice twist on an almost exhausted topic. I like how it added humanity into the equation of the changing of the seasons.
    Keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by Boom-boom | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoyed reading your poem i found your transition from season to season very moving and thoughtful. i also like how you brought to life each season with smells and feelings that the reader can relate to
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]
      This has a very timeless feel to it, and I suppose that it should. I'm not normally a fan of rhyme, but I think it works here. These read like poetic descriptions of Currier and Ives prints.

    The only constructive thing I can offer is that you misspelled autumn in the first line of the third stanza.

    Good work,
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]

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