Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dreamingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: giver_of_death
    Elite Ratio:    4.09 - 106/72/18
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 814
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1069



    Description:
       Anything to make this better is what I'm after.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDreamingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    (v1)
    you have your perfect family
    Your parents don't even like me
    They don't want you to be my friend
    ...I wonder why
    And I am trying my best
    To fit in with the rest of you
    ..Its hard
    (pc)
    I'm standing here..crying.My whold world is dying....

    If I were you and you were me you would finally understand
    Why I cry through the night and why I'm sometimes so sad
    But that will never happen so I guess I should stop...Dreaming
    (v2)
    And so I sit here with a knife to my throat
    And all I am to you is just a mote
    ...a piece of nothing
    I slowly tie a rope aroundmy neck
    I can't live much longer I am a wreck
    ...Whats the point
    (pc)

    (v3)
    All the screaming and yelling going on around me its easy to see why I wanna end this life so early...In a hurry...
    I keep thinkning about suicide I am falling to pieces in side...I can't hide..
    (pc)
    (pause)




    Submitted on 2005-08-11 09:27:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      great job surah!!! its rlly good i luv it, hell i understand wat u mean, i think alot of us have gone through the sme thing or at least something close to it and i al,most cried wen i read this is rememinded me of a personal experience it was really good
    | Posted on 2006-11-11 00:00:00 | by panzyrocker | [ Reply to This ]
      And so I sit here with a knife to my throat
    And all I am to you is just a mote
    ...a piece of nothing
    I slowly tie a rope aroundmy neck
    I can't live much longer I am a wreck
    ...Whats the point

    ... i like it . it has a very well environment . it makes me think inn every passage of what you wrote
    so keep on writing ..
    peace and love .. and
    take care!
    victor!
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I'm sorry, but I can't think of anything that could make this better. I love it the way it is. It's so sad. The wording is great. Very creative. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      There's not a whole lot that I think could make this better. What kind of music are you intending to put this to? I have a Green Day type melody going through my head here...that could be way off, but I like this. It is a bit sad, but you did a great job of conveying feelings and it's something that a lot of people can relate to and understand. Your lyrics are good and encourage you to keep going. Great job!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    70134

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    To written by SavedDragon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Linger written by saartha
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    This written by Chelebel
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry