Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dreamingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: giver_of_death
    Elite Ratio:    4.09 - 106/72/18
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 762
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1069



    Description:
       Anything to make this better is what I'm after.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDreamingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    (v1)
    you have your perfect family
    Your parents don't even like me
    They don't want you to be my friend
    ...I wonder why
    And I am trying my best
    To fit in with the rest of you
    ..Its hard
    (pc)
    I'm standing here..crying.My whold world is dying....

    If I were you and you were me you would finally understand
    Why I cry through the night and why I'm sometimes so sad
    But that will never happen so I guess I should stop...Dreaming
    (v2)
    And so I sit here with a knife to my throat
    And all I am to you is just a mote
    ...a piece of nothing
    I slowly tie a rope aroundmy neck
    I can't live much longer I am a wreck
    ...Whats the point
    (pc)

    (v3)
    All the screaming and yelling going on around me its easy to see why I wanna end this life so early...In a hurry...
    I keep thinkning about suicide I am falling to pieces in side...I can't hide..
    (pc)
    (pause)




    Submitted on 2005-08-11 09:27:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      great job surah!!! its rlly good i luv it, hell i understand wat u mean, i think alot of us have gone through the sme thing or at least something close to it and i al,most cried wen i read this is rememinded me of a personal experience it was really good
    | Posted on 2006-11-11 00:00:00 | by panzyrocker | [ Reply to This ]
      And so I sit here with a knife to my throat
    And all I am to you is just a mote
    ...a piece of nothing
    I slowly tie a rope aroundmy neck
    I can't live much longer I am a wreck
    ...Whats the point

    ... i like it . it has a very well environment . it makes me think inn every passage of what you wrote
    so keep on writing ..
    peace and love .. and
    take care!
    victor!
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I'm sorry, but I can't think of anything that could make this better. I love it the way it is. It's so sad. The wording is great. Very creative. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      There's not a whole lot that I think could make this better. What kind of music are you intending to put this to? I have a Green Day type melody going through my head here...that could be way off, but I like this. It is a bit sad, but you did a great job of conveying feelings and it's something that a lot of people can relate to and understand. Your lyrics are good and encourage you to keep going. Great job!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    70134

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Dream written by closetpoet
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The World written by jjd
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry