Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Body and Souldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: chrls
    ASL Info:    43/m/louisiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 43/56/16
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 711
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 540



    Description:
       Wrote this today. I think it's about the path of life and all the stuggles that we all go through waiting for the day we die.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBody and Souldots
    -------------------------------------------


    A soul crying out from deep within
    Fills the air with the pain of doubt
    Once so pure and so devout
    Becoming the essence of wanton sin

    Peering out beyond tear stained eyes
    Searching for balance or inner peace
    Wishing the ache of confusion would cease
    Nourished on fodder of fear and lies

    Languishing endlessly hoping to find
    A moment of truce or an end to the plight
    Completely content to continue the fight
    A soul crying out leaves the body behind




    Submitted on 2005-08-11 14:34:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i read the other two you mentioned as well they were good but i like this one the most it just seems to flow together smoothly and is well written it gave me a strong sense of being completely lost in an extremely familiar place like a ghost that doesnt know its dead i dont know if thats anything close to what you were talking about but thats how i interpureted i really liked it though defenitly some creativity hear

    cartoon autopsy
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by cartoon autopsy | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel this is good, but it seems to end abruptly in my opinion, and i'd really like to see more in this piece. The subject and the heart were all there though.
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
      True, a morbid take on things, but true. I can feel the chaos and confusion in the seeping out of the poem...I liked "Nourished on fodder of fear and lies". Tearstained can be one word, though. Good flow of words...A good piece, I like it!
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by Syrinx | [ Reply to This ]
      the way it ends is very definite and solid.
    'A soul crying out leaves the body behind'
    But also it ends almost as it started.
    'A soul crying out from deep within'
    It seems indicative of an equality between the ending and beginning. One tells where it came from and the other tells where it is going.
    Excellent work!
    Cara
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by Tarwen Nevle | [ Reply to This ]
      It almost sounds like a sonnet, almost. I liked this a lot. I think the ending is good but a little sudden, but other than that I really like it.
    | Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by Dark Romantic | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    70166

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Cover written by saartha
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The World written by jjd
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry