Description: "Timelines" is about how many of us who live with painful events that have happened in our pasts, how we choose not to forgive and forget so to speak, carrying that weight throughout our lives.
your eyes they glow throughout the night
reflections speak through shafts of light
past, present and future lives
etched in stone, clear and bold
artifacts of days gone bye
or living in the now
looking on towards days to come
to all we've made a vow
never to unveil the truth
of thoughts behind closed curtains
these memories they lay in wait
and this we know for certain
past the lines drawn in the sand
and just outside these doors
many souls are unaware
of battles we've endured
we wear these scars within our hearts
these terrors in the deep
no one ever truly knows
what's lurking underneath
This poem you wrote it a great expression for many of us. I can only imagine what your past is that brought you to write it, I know that many things from my past were thought of when I read it. Excellent work, thank you for writing it.
this poem is so true that it is a bit scary to/for me.. there is always more to stories left untold.. i truely believe the past makes us who we are-yes.. however, everyone need not know the past to know me...when i read a piece i try to put me personally into the words.. just a habbit of mine..and i can do that with the ones i've read of yours.. very personal... i like
I totaly agree with you we all have wounds that are invisible since inside and bleed sometimes whole of our life wearing fake smiles on our face, and some are lukier and find someone to share the burden from the past and get healed.
this poem truly shows what goes inside a wounded soul, you have been sucessful at bringing down the emotion.
What i personally feel is the saying
if you go out looking for a friend you find none, but if go out to be friend you will find many
what i feel is we keep on looking for someone to share our pain and that is what i used to do but what if lesten to others, help others in their difficult time, heal their wounds, since we know the pain inside but we don't do it and niether we nor other finds relife from this wounds.
bye and hope that i will see more of your works in future
This was very thought provoking and seemed as though it was something an angel or prophet would be saying. I am going to sit and read it further when I have more time as it's a piece that has many layers. I enjoy your submissions and find you to be a very talented writer! Love,Peace,Joy! tif ; )
This is very beautiful and thought provoking. I can't say what part I like the most because it's all so gooood. I think to much punctuation clutters up a poem but perhaps you should use some. Anyway, great poem. Keep it up. bgj
This is a good write. I thought it meant a love fraught with turbulence, but I am guessing I am wrong. A good vivid piece filled with thought. Nice write.
good rythem i liked it, i think it was pritty good the only thing i had trubble with was that it was like all rhyming there were a few ryming lines but theres others that dont (im not too shure if thats how it was meant to be written or if thats the way it supposed to be written so pleas tell me) well ya i thoght it was good it had a great flow! good job liam/patrick<3
I really liked the last part: "Past the lines drawn in the sand and just outside these doors many souls are unaware of battles we've endured we wear these scars within our hearts these terrors in the deep no one ever truly knows what's lurking underneath" . There were so many words and so many different statements all at once. You speak of old things, days gone by, time that we can never get back. But I also get a message of hope. It makes me want to lament and yearn for everything that I cannot have now and cannot change, but it also makes me feel so hopeful for my personal future. The only thing that I think you should change is maybe the form. I mean, maybe break it up a bit or add punctuation. But of course, it is up to you. Maybe you meant for it to be free form. Either way, I love the way the words crash into each other. It's really a magnetic piece. Melancholymaid
Submission Name: "Timelines"
