Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "Timelines"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Martin S. Allen
    ASL Info:    33 male
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 671/237/43
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1067
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 751



    Description:
       "Timelines" is about how many of us who live with painful events that have happened in our pasts, how we choose not to forgive and forget so to speak, carrying that weight throughout our lives.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Timelines"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    your eyes they glow throughout the night
    reflections speak through shafts of light
    past, present and future lives
    etched in stone, clear and bold
    artifacts of days gone bye
    or living in the now
    looking on towards days to come
    to all we've made a vow
    never to unveil the truth
    of thoughts behind closed curtains
    these memories they lay in wait
    and this we know for certain
    past the lines drawn in the sand
    and just outside these doors
    many souls are unaware
    of battles we've endured
    we wear these scars within our hearts
    these terrors in the deep
    no one ever truly knows
    what's lurking underneath




    Submitted on 2005-08-11 16:29:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem you wrote it a great expression for many of us. I can only imagine what your past is that brought you to write it, I know that many things from my past were thought of when I read it. Excellent work, thank you for writing it.

    ~~Donna~~
    | Posted on 2007-11-20 00:00:00 | by PrettyHeart | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your work, I can only hope to be as deep
    a writer as you one day.

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2007-09-11 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn, this was heavey. Your mentality is really on another level. Im looking forward to reading more of your posts, past and present.
    Keep em coming.

    PC
    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem is so true that it is a bit scary to/for me.. there is always more to stories left untold.. i truely believe the past makes us who we are-yes.. however, everyone need not know the past to know me...when i read a piece i try to put me personally into the words.. just a habbit of mine..and i can do that with the ones i've read of yours.. very personal... i like
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by Justmenow14 | [ Reply to This ]
      I totaly agree with you we all have wounds that are invisible since inside and bleed sometimes whole of our life wearing fake smiles on our face, and some are lukier and find someone to share the burden from the past and get healed.

    this poem truly shows what goes inside a wounded soul, you have been sucessful at bringing down the emotion.

    What i personally feel is the saying

    if you go out looking for a friend you find none, but if go out to be friend you will find many

    what i feel is we keep on looking for someone to share our pain and that is what i used to do but what if lesten to others, help others in their difficult time, heal their wounds, since we know the pain inside but we don't do it and niether we nor other finds relife from this wounds.

    bye and hope that i will see more of your works in future
    | Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by imagination | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is really good as of the 7th line, but before that I can't understand the meaning in those 6 lines, can you explain?
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by Vastmark | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very thought provoking and seemed as though it was something an angel or prophet would be saying. I am going to sit and read it further when I have more time as it's a piece that has many layers.
    I enjoy your submissions and find you to be a very talented writer! Love,Peace,Joy! tif ; )
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very beautiful and thought provoking. I can't say what part I like the most because it's all so gooood. I think to much punctuation clutters up a poem but perhaps you should use some. Anyway, great poem. Keep it up.
    bgj
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by bgj | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good write. I thought it meant a love fraught with turbulence, but I am guessing I am wrong. A good vivid piece filled with thought. Nice write.
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      good rythem i liked it, i think it was pritty good the only thing i had trubble with was that it was like all rhyming there were a few ryming lines but theres others that dont (im not too shure if thats how it was meant to be written or if thats the way it supposed to be written so pleas tell me) well ya i thoght it was good it had a great flow! good job
    liam/patrick<3
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by patrick o_riley | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the last part:
    "Past the lines drawn in the sand
    and just outside these doors
    many souls are unaware
    of battles we've endured
    we wear these scars within our hearts
    these terrors in the deep
    no one ever truly knows
    what's lurking underneath" .
    There were so many words and so many different statements all at once. You speak of old things, days gone by, time that we can never get back. But I also get a message of hope. It makes me want to lament and yearn for everything that I cannot have now and cannot change, but it also makes me feel so hopeful for my personal future.
    The only thing that I think you should change is maybe the form. I mean, maybe break it up a bit or add punctuation. But of course, it is up to you. Maybe you meant for it to be free form. Either way, I love the way the words crash into each other. It's really a magnetic piece.
    Melancholymaid
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by melancholymaid | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    70185

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The World written by jjd
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry