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    dots Submission Name: Eternaldots

    Author: Toxic Rose
    Elite Ratio:    5.82 - 159/220/97
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1596
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 664

       ^ ^

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    Falling up-side down
    In an eternal backwards dive
    Rolling in the wind
    On the merry-go-round through time

    "Ye shall find the truth,
    And the truth shall set you free"-
    Only when you open your heart
    May your eyes truly see.

    In every distant corner
    Shine fiery shadows of light
    That only the redeemed can see,
    They guide us through the endless night.

    And what set me on this rant and write?
    The tender touch of time itself
    I'd caught a glimpse of death's red fire
    And I fight that eternal war, with God's own help.

    Submitted on 2005-08-12 05:56:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      oh. sorry. one more thing. DESCRIPTIONS! ahhh. it bothers me.. i want to hear what you have to say about it. because people will all interpret it different ways and i want to hear yous.

    and i swear i didn't post 2 for %.
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by sunnyrain | [ Reply to This ]
      figured it would be appropriate for me to comment on YOUR eternal. heheh. sorry if this is shorter than usual but i just want to post and i'm missing smallville. AHHH. lol. so anyway..

    it's good but not my fave.. i'll just be blunt here because i know you don't care. so obviosuly i can't really relate to some of it.. we'll just not go there. first stanza: it should be upside-down, but i think this one is my favorite. second: Only when you open your heart
    May your eyes truly see. i liiike that. third: fiery shadows of light.. kind of confusing but after you think about it it's a really good image. last stanza i like as well. ok, nvm about the fave thing. so let's see.. it's good. content is excellent and i like the idea.. could be expanded on. i bet this was one of the ones you wrote in two minutes when it came to you at school. heheh. love you! bye!

    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by sunnyrain | [ Reply to This ]
      yes a poem...oh
    um the first stanza sounds funny "in an eternal backwards dive" ...but should be that way. sounds good
    the 2nd i think has to be rewritten because of those common expression like "only when you open your heart may your eyes truly see"...
    yes i know what you mean but to give it a non hollywood touch i would give my own words for that... i hope i didnt offend im sorry lady...
    tender touch of time... made me laugh...but i like the 3rd one...
    uh look !
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by Jimi James | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey this is such a GENUINE piece, its so UNIQUE...Its very powerful and envokes so much emotion within me...This is a liberating write...I loved the intricacy of the flow...its so DIFFERENT...A worthwhile read...Thanks for sharing...Nobantu
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazing stuffs, in my opinion. The first stanza is like, this small bit of writing bursting with this creative energy that has obviously been poured into it. Second stanza....excellent reflection, absolutely excellent...And unlike your generous comments, I haven't much to say beyond that. Peace, LucyDiamond
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great. It kind of sounds like something I'd write. I have a few poems myself about stuff a little similar to this. Hopefully, you'll stop by sometime and read them. I like how the lines aren't perfect rhymes. That makes it interesting, I think. I get angry when people think that the rhymes must be perfect. I think it should depend on how the artist wishes everyone to view it and not those who try too hard to analyze every line.
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by Victoria | [ Reply to This ]

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