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    dots Submission Name: Laid to Restdots

    Author: Sarah Leger
    ASL Info:    15.f.kissimmee,Fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.74 - 436/387/80
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1067
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 532

       the format is diff but i like it so even if you dont think it works im not changing it, not meaning to be rude my dears and im sorry if it comes off that way

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLaid to Restdots

    Hand slipping-
    Fingers gripping-

    Cross out my heart

    It falls-

    Like you crossed out your eyes

    It falls-
    So fast-

    Laid to rest

    Hitting the cement-

    Lillie covering her heart

    Glass flies-

    Put a nickel in her hand

    The world is stained-

    So she can cross the river of Styx

    With me.

    Submitted on 2005-08-12 14:50:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i know where this poem comes from and im sorry you lost her. i liked this format it was very different but the end just went to single lines but it is all good. death isnt the funnest thing to deal with i know thsi from yeah. this was a good poem it shows just enough detail to get a point of absenance out and pain from your loss.
    you should put in a hind of what your mom did to give a bigger ugg kinda out look to it to give a fuller rush of pain and overwhelming numb that you went through.

    im sorry she is gone and i hope you feel better about her soon.
    hang in there

    mulvs my pretty moose
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't find it rude that you frankly don't care to change this peice. I find that I don't want you to change it even if you did care. It is so well written and I feel an emotion I can't quit describe when I read it. I'm putting this on my favorites list and I believe I will read it over and over again.
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
      there is a lot to this poem that I probably just don't get .. to do with the last

    Laid to rest

    Hitting the cement-

    Lillie covering her heart

    Glass flies-

    Put a nickel in her hand

    The world is stained-

    So she can cross the river of Styx

    With me.

    I understand that it has to do with death and shattering the glass flies? maybe I do get more now really looking at it I wouldn't change anything just maybe put a little brief message in the description for clueless people like me lol.. don't they put coins on the eyes toowhen they die ee there is a little bit of cluelessness going on lol.. anyway I get it a little.. nice description and if your happy with it that is all that matters.. thanks for sharing
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by pennymarie | [ Reply to This ]
      That was a fast poem with a strong message... I think I got the message... but if you could PM on it... anyway... wonderful, I really liked and wouldn't change a thing... not that I would make you change a thing anyway... I mean that is a total diss on a person's soul, because that is what poetry is in a way, a reflectino of the soul... THNX

    - Nammy
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]
    Very deep and a dark twist ino death and longing and life. You did that very well ma dear...at least thats what I get out of it. Simple and it really solidified the title.

    Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this.and im sooo sorry about everything thats going on. i wish i could help sum how, but i know the only thing i might be able to do is maybe bake u brownies but im not sure that would help. wonderful peom tho.

    Love from within.
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ]

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