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    dots Submission Name: Standing By The Roaddots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1026

       My car broke down this morning, and Tony gave me a ride as far as Gurley. And just left me there. And it made me angry, but it also inspired this.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStanding By The Roaddots

    He left her standing by the road,
    Gave her eight quarters for the phone.
    She quietly watched him drive away.
    She'd never felt so alone.

    Her Dollar Store sunglasses hid the tears
    That kept streaming from her eyes.
    She hated being so weak, but,
    She couldn't help but cry.

    She made a call and arranged for a ride.
    She sat down on the curb.
    She rummaged through her bag and wondered
    How he had the nerve

    To just leave her standing there,
    After all that they'd been through,
    When he knew she had nowhere to go
    And no idea what to do.

    She placed a cigarette between her lips,
    Fumbled for a light.
    She sat on the curb and took a drag,
    Waited for a car to come into sight.

    He left her standing by the road,
    Gave her eight quarters for the phone.
    She quietly watched him drive away,
    The only love she'd ever known.

    Submitted on 2005-08-12 16:58:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow, this is good stuff. Everyone has had this happen to them in some form or fashion, so it is easy to relate. I hope things get better...two thumbs up.

    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by OrionsStorm | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh yes<3. Usually rhyming poems annoy the hell out of me, but this is wonderful. I love the Dollar Store sunglasses, and how she fumbled for a light...Keep it up :D
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by Wino | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really sad. I think the poem would be easier to read if you seperated it into stanzas with lines of four. That would helpt the reader to keep their place and their pace. Nice write though.
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by Dark Angel | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm so sorry! That's not being a gentleman or friend! You did pull a great piece out of it though and it could be a country song! I get my sunglasses at the $1 store too!
    Love,Peace,Joy! tif ; )
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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